A girl at a boarding school texts her father….
“Goodevening Dad,i hopes u is fine and the hoe familiy.
Dad, i want to remembers u that we will starting ezams nest week,so a school want u to paid the school fins all else i will not going to write the ezam.Your lavely dowter, God blast you”
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Then the father replied:
“Good evening and hope u are fine as well. Please don’t even bother to write the exams coz u cant even pass, tomorrow i will send u transport money u come back home and become a witch doctor.
Infact, let God blast u, not me. Idiot!!”

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If the first button in a shirt is put wrong, then every button will b wrong.
Great Lines said by
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Tailor SANJU

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I passed by an atm and saw the guy who owes me R1600 in the queue and then when he saw me approach him he was like is this the taxi rank asking people around him

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*I miss the married women in the Bible who used to give their maids to their husbands as side-chicks*.

The current ones don’t read their Bibles. Only jealousy and selfishness .

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At a wedding ceremony the pastor asked if there was anyone who had any reason why the marriage shouldn’t go on; it was time to stand up and speak, or forever let them hold their peace.
*The moment of utter silence was interrupted by a young beautiful woman carrying a child. She started slowly walking toward the pastor*.
Everything quickly turned to chaos. The bride slapped the groom. The groom’s mother fainted. The bridal trail scooted towards the door.The groom’s men huddled together like a bereaved flock, wondering how best to help save the situation.
The pastor asked the woman, “Can you tell us why you came forward? What do you have to say?”
*The woman replied, “I can’t hear from the back.*

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We are experiencing the only time in history
where lazy people have a better chance of survival…

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Am not a prophet but I can prophecy, you are still using a 2017 toothbrush ,clothes ,shoes true or false

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No matter how good/cute you look girl,
you cant compete with the girl he loves

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A girl started noticing a guy who stands in front of her home everyday in the evening. She noticed the guy always comes mostly in the evenings and weekends. The guy never tried to talk to her nor showed any gesture, he just moves here and there by looking into his mobile phone and occasionally stealing a stare at her. It went on like that for a year and the girl understood the guy was in love with her but was too shy to express his feelings. So, she told her parents. They too saw him and liked him. They discussed with her grandparents about a likely marriage. But wanted her to make the first move. The next day , she went to him and said, Hi. I’m Jada. He said, Hi. I’m Smith. Hearing this, the girl was very happy as the names were matching like Will Smith and Jada Pinkett. The girl went on and said, I really appreciate your patience and decency. You have been standing in front of my home everyday for about a year now. So, I understand that you are in love with me but too shy to say it. I think i really like you too and would love it if we get married. The guy smiled and said, Forgive me sister! Actually your home’s WIFI doesn’t have a password. So, i come here every evening after work to use free wi-fi to chat with my girlfriend!

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My wrk mate
Just received 2 sms from his wife
First sms: Let’s break up now, its all over
Second sms: sorry, sorry, sorry, that was not for you.
Now he does not know what to do, lets help

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Some girls will be like “I want a God fearing man” but two weeks after accepting your proposal She will be asking for *IPhone 7 rather than King James Bible*

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Teacher : class, can anyone of you tell me
the meaning of the word POSITIVE?
Peter; lts when you have got HIV

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boy : Where Are You?
girl : I’m On My Way To Town I’m In My Father’s Mercedes Benz 🚗 Because The Bmw🚘 Is In The Services ☺️And You?
boy : I’m Sitting Behind You In The Taxi And I Just Wanted To Say Don’t Pay I Have Already Paid 4 you…

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JOKE OF THE DAY
Next Sunday when your pastor says Do your God something you never did ,grab the offering basket and run away

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Me : i Love You ♥
– Her : LOL
– Me : i Need You in My Life 🙏
– Her : LOL
– Me : You Are My Everything 💯
– Her : LOL
– Me : iPhone 6 Or iPhone 7 ? 🔥
– Her : Omg!! 😯😮 , iPhone 7 ☺😊 .. Do You Want To Buy it For Me ? 😍😘
– Me : LOL
– Her : Talk To Me Now 😡
– Me : Lol

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