WELCOME TO THE 21ST CENTURY!
1. Our Phones Wireless
2. Cooking – Fireless
3. Cars – Keyless
4. Food – Fatless
5. Tyres – Tubeless
6. Tools – Cordless
7. Dress – Sleeveless
8. Youth – Jobless
9. Leaders – Shameless
11. Relationships- Meaningless
12. Attitude – Careless
13. Wives – Fearless
14. Babies – Fatherless
15. Feelings – Heartless
16. Education – Valueless
17. Children – Mannerless
18. Government – Useless
19. PARLIAMENT- CLUELESS
20. MASSES – HELPLESS
[ME- Speechless]

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Some ladies will stop in the middle of a hot romance just to ask,
“do you truly love me”?
How can he hate you at that point?🤦🏻
.
Military General

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They have parked their bags, went back to work after spending the weekend buying you alcohol, none of them is offering to take your CV with and submit just incase something comes up at their work place or to just edit your CV for you.
And you go around telling people how good your friends are??

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Me : so you the One dating ma Ex Gf
.
Him : Yeah man . Why ?
.
Me : I’m eating Pizza now , Do you want
left overs too

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Who else has noticed that the guy playing the Keyboard in Church does not pay offering

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If your boyfriend doesn’t take you out for dates it’s not because he’s broke☝,
is because you don’t know how to chew..!

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Whites: tooth spoon
Blacks : tiss spoon
Black People mara, I give up on you guys

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Three Drunkies Entered A Taxi 😂

The Taxi Driver Knew that they were drunk so he Started The Engine And Turned It Off Again Then Said:”We Have Reached Your Destination”

The 1st Guy Gave Him Money And The 2nd Guy Said:”Thank You “And He Paid More Money then the usual taxi fee

The 3rd Guy Slapped The Driver, The Driver Was Shocked and Suprised Thinking The 3rd Drunk Knew What He Did . But Then He Asked” What Was That For ?’:

The 3rd Replied,-”Control Your Speed Next Time, You Nearly Killed Us All ” 😂😂

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Hey you, yeah it’s you that is reading this status,
you have a chance to win an iPhone, a Car, or a vacation in Dubai…….
use a sharp object to scratch here▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
Please Do This Now..hurry and be the first…

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APPLICATION FORM TO MARRY MY DAUGHTER.

FILL THE FORM IN YOUR OWN HAND WRITTING AND IN BLOCK LETTERS.

I, _____ , hereby apply to marry your beautiful daughter Sir. I am ___ years old.

Please answer the following questions honestly.

1. Do you go to church/mosque? Yes/No
2. Do you have a degree or diploma? Yes/No.
3. Are you still a virgin? Yes/No.
4. Are you working? Yes/No.
5. Do you have a car? Yes/No.

If your answer to any of the above questions is NO, do not continue & quietly leave my house. Don’t look back as you walk out. If all your answers were YES, then you may continue.

1. In 50 words or more, describe the disadvantages of cheating in marriage.___________
2. With the aid of a diagram, explain how you can give respect to your father/mother in-law.
3. Suppose your wife says, “honey, I need money for my hair at the saloon”, what would be yo answer?______
4. Explain any TEN causes of divorce.
______________
5. What does the term ‘good husband’ mean to you? _____ _________
6. Do you have both yo mum & dad? Yes/No. If No, explain why?
7. Were your parents legally married? Yes/No. If YES, for how long? If the time of their marriage is less than your age, explain why you were born out of wedlock.
8. Explain the meaning of ”COME HOME EARLY” as used by married women. (100 words)
9. Give any THREE reasons that can cause a man to sleep outside his house.
10. In case of divorce, who do you think is the owner of the kids between father and mother?

Answer the following by Yes or No.
1. Do you drink alcohol? Yes/No.
2. Do you smoke? Yes/No.
3. Are you short-tempered? Yes/No.

LAST PART, BUT EQUALLY IMPORTANT.

1. When can you be free for interviews?
________
2. When can be the best time to interview
your dad?_______
3. When can I interview your mum?
________
4. When can I interview your church pastor/mosque imam
5. Please stick your passport size photo below, which will be put in all the daily newspapers for 1 week to cross-check if you have other girlfriends or on wanted list by Victim Support Unit, Zambia Police or other law enforcement agencies.

Sign here: _____
Sign again: ____

Thank you for showing interest in my daughter. Your application will be processed in 1 year and six months time. You will be acknowledged only if you emerge successful.

As you wait for my response, please don’t call me, or visit me, or contact my daughter, you will be disqualified automatically. Leave your details below in case I need to ask you more questions.

Postal Address: ________
________
Email: _______
Phone: ________
Facebook name: _______

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I want to be rich to an extent that when my wife starts and argument, I hit the table and say: You know what, Let’s go and argue in Dubai!

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An Engineering student went for an interview in a Big IT company for the position of
“Computer Hacking Investigator”.
The HR asked him, “So,what makes you suitable for this job?”
“Well”,he replied, “well I hacked your computer & invited myself to this interview …”

Do you think he got the job?

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Jack went for his hair-cut and shave in a salon, there he saw a beautiful lady sitting patiently in the shop. Suddenly Jack turned to the lady and said ‘woman, you’re so beautiful, can we meet later today? The woman replied; I’m married. Jack so, you can just tell your husband you’re going to visit a friend,… Women : tell him yourself, he’s the one shaving your face with the cut throat razor

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Welcome to South Africa where
(1). Young girls look forward to putting their signatures on Social Grants than JOB CONTRACTS,
(2). Beer is more important than water,
(3). Arbotion is legal, yet murder is illegal,
(4). Rape and other crime rate is higher than education,
(5). Getting a smart phone is greater than achieving a degree,
(6). Beautiful girls are getting 100+ LIKES on social networks everyday, while the ugly ones are getting DEGREES and getting MARRIED every weekend,
(7). Losing a phone is more painful than losing virginity,
(8). Pizza deliveries are faster than an emergency response

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Today l used RedBull instead of water
to make my cofee……
After driving on a freeway for 15 minutes
l realises that l left the car at home🏡

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We have yet another set of Army Worms preparing to attack Men’s wallets and Bank accounts on the 14th of February. Advise from the Office of The Vice President Disaster Management and Mitigation Unit is for Men to use the strongest pesticide i.e Switching off your phones and change location._

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