When she thought you are romantic by helping her
while cooking kant he is making sure u dnt waste his braaipack

My guy!
Perfume is important,
but roll-on is importanter…
and taking a Bath is more importanting!!!

Guys, don’t trust a lady who is online but
replys to your message after 5 minutes.
Brother, the queue is very long.

*Teacher: what is Jomo Cosmos.?*
*Rainbow: a team that plays so well but has nothing to show for it.*
*Teacher: very good ; so give an example.*
*Rainbow: Kaizer Chiefs is a Jomo Cosmos

Dear Future wife
You must know we will be married
forever and never divorce.
The following must be done to
divorce me…
*I want our divorce to take place in a
church we got married at, by the
pastor who’ve blessed our marriage
and all the people who witnessed our
vows. If we were able to invite em to
witness our marriage, I guess they
also have the right to come and
witness our divorce.Should any of the
witnessed die, forget about the
divorce, I won’t go for it.
.
*I want all my money I’ve spent on
our wedding celebration,
catering,food,drinks and rings …it will
be used on our divorcing
celebration,notforgetting the lobola
bride prize with interest of 25%
compounded annually.
.
*Seven goats and two cows must be
slaughtered to cleanse your shame of
disappointing my ancestors with our
divorce…all the goats must be green
in colour. Strictly no any other colour.
.
*Go and fetch all those woman
who’ve been trying their luck on me,
but I refused their proposals coz I
valued our marriage and thought I
wasn’t gonna betray and cheat on
you. Please go talk to em on my
behalf…I want em all.
.
*Your uncles who were negotiating
your lobola bride prize must be there
to renegotiate my refund. If one of the
uncles who was there on negotiations
had passed away or something, forget
about the divorce I want him there
.
*After finishing all of the things above,
I want a sourmoon, take me to a
place where I took you for our
honeymoon, and spent the same
period of time we spent on
honeymoon.better pray that we find
the same people we found there the
time we were there for our
honeymoon, should we find different
people..forget about the divorce

Girls want Attention.
Women want Respect.
Men want both.
No no.. not Attention and Respect.
Both Girls and Women

Never show a Lady that you’re more fluent than her in English
while you’re out. Trust me, it will be your last date!

If I had just one hour left to live
*
*
I’d spend it in math class.
.
.it never ends.

Some breakups can make you steal your mother’s phone
and text your Bae

“Makoto, Why are you doing this to my child?

My mother-in-law visited me and my wife but coincidentally,that day my wife
was feeling for sex and she did not want to whisper to me since i was busy
sharing stories with her mother. My wife tricked me by pretending she has
headache and went straight to the bedroom. After some minutes, I followed her
leaving her mother in the sitting room. I took some time there, but when I came
back I had forgotten to close my zip.
Mother-in-law: How is she feeling now?
Me: She is now feeling better, I have given her paracetamol.
Mother-in-law: OK, close the pharmacy

I don’t date guys who don’t have cars”:
Says a girl who bath with a soap til it becomes a size of a sim card.

Pain is when you go out to throw away a Pizza Box
and no one sees you