Send Your Lady Some Flowers To Work On Valentine’s Day
From A Secret Admirer,
If She Don’t Bring The Flowers Home…
She’s Cheating Fam🙆🚶
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Dating a prostitute is not a problem. The problem is when you want to have sex……and she will be like ‘babie no you cant be having stock everyday……the business is gonna go down
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When asked the similarities between
Woman 💃🏼
&
Alcohol 🥃
Shakespeare replied,
They both have the amazing quality of giving Pleasure at night and Headache in the morning
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The Japanese are obsessed with quality
and safety.
A safety warning notice for female
workers in a Japanese factory reads as
follows:
*If your skirt is long,*
*stay away from the Engines.*
*And If it is short,*
*stay away from the Engineers.*
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Yo mama so short that she mountain climbs on a Dorito
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If nobody hates 😫 you,
You’re 👱 doing something boring
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My uncle always pick a quarrel with me, he doesn’t know how clever i can be.😜😜😜
I changed my name on my Instagram to “Your village people” then I followed him.
His notification now reads. “Your village people is now following you on instagram”.
Since morning, he has been drinking anointing oil..
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Her : Babe, Can I ask you something?
Me: It’s not true babe, they are lying.
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new army captain inspected the soldiers in their barracks. He noticed a female horse.
Captain: What’s the horse for?
Soldier: We use her if we feel an urge to have sex.
Captain: Ah, that’s good.
One night, the captain feels an urge, and the soldier brought the horse to his tent.
When the captain was done, he saw the soldier smiling outside his tent.
Captain: It’s so hard and high eish….how do you guys do it?
Soldier: We ride on the horse to the next town where the girls are.
Captain: 😛
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LADY’S TELL ME!!!
.
Break up – U Crying
Menstruation – U Crying
Child birth – U Crying
Engagement- U Crying
Wedding – U Crying
Sex – U Crying
Drunk – U Crying
.
What’s So Special About You??
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Stop checking your phone your crush doesn’t care about you
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Jonathan
Imagine What Church Will Be Like In The Year 2030 if care is not taken…
Pastor: Praise The Lord
Congregation: Hallelujah
Pastor: Can We Pls Open our iPads to Exodus 20:1
When U r Done Kindly Switch On Ur Bluetooth To Receive The Sermon…
Pls Have Ur Debit Cards Ready As We Collect The Tithes And Offerings….
You Can Connect To Church WiFi Using Password: Lord3732
And As For The Renovations And Donations U r Welcome To Contribute Via Cellphone Banking
The Holy Atmosphere Will Be Electric As IPads Flicker
Meanwhile… ANNOUNCEMENTS
Church Secretary: Dis Week’s Meeting Will Be Held On Various WhatsApp Groups So Pls Don’t Miss Out …
Wednesday Bible Teaching Will Be Held Live On Skype @1900GMT…
By D Way You May Follow The Pastor On Twitter For Counselling And don’t Forget Our Weekly Prayers On YouTube… God Bless us….
If care is not taken, this is how next generation children will learn their ABC. A for Apple won’t be useful anymore…. Instead:
A is for ATM
B is for Bluetooth
C is for Chatting
D is for Download
E is for Email
F is for Facebook
G is for Google
H is for Hotmail
I is for instagram
J is for Java
K is for Konga
L is for Laptop
M is for MTN
N is for Network
O is for Opera Mini
P is for PicMix
Q is for QuickTime
R is for RAM
S is for Skype
T is for Twitter
U is for USB
V is for Vista
W is for WhatsApp
X is for Xender
Y is for Yahoo
Z is for Zuma
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The girl who refused to show me her breast🙈🙊🙈🙊 in secondary school has sat next to me in a bus breastfeeding her baby…. Kkkkkkkkk This world though….. wonderful isn’t it??
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Can someone take me to Campus Crush I just wanna reject you in public please.
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If your GF once saw your torn underwear,
it’s very hard to cheat on Her!
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My Sister, Go to a Liquor store,
Choose your Happiness and forget about men.
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