Uma ngingafunzwanga istubheli 🍓 this year, ngiyayeka ukujola. Kuyoba nini umuntu ehleshulelwa ummbila? 🌽

Ukwenza kwabantu abanomhawu

a)Nice car ~ iyokwenza i accident njalo imoto yakho idla i fuel
b)Rich family~ banomkhobo
c)Loving husband ~ wadliswa
d)Gain weight ~ ama ARV ayamvuma
e) Loose weight ~ukugula sekumqalile
f)Good marriage ~ abaqedi mnyaka bebonke
g)Look good ~ webolekile impahla
h)Build a nice house ~ uzofa ayishiye.
i)Start a new project ~ akula lapho okuyakhona lokhu .

Add more?

Umfundisi uDube wayedlala igalofu noMdelwa ngenye imini, ngebhadi uMdelwa kwakungamlungeli kwigalofu. Kwakuthi lapho egeja umgodi athi, “Shit, ngageja!”
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Baqhubeka badlala, kwathi emva kwezikhawu eziningana elokhu esho kanjena uMdelwa lapho egeja umgodi; wahluleka ukuzibamba umfundisi uDube wathi, “Ngicela ungakhulumi kanjalo mzalwane, ngale kwalokho uNkulunkulu uzokujezisa.”
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Axolise uMdelwa umdlalo uqhubeke. Kwathi eqeda kuxolisa nje waphinde wageja komunye umgodi, wase ephahlukile, “Shit, ngageja futhi!”
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Wayelokhu esho kanjalo emigodini emithathu elandelayo. Wayeseqala ukuthukuthela okaDube manje ngenxa kaMdelwa wase ethi, “Ngicela ungizwe kahle mzalwane, luyeke njengamanje lolu limi olukhulumayo. UNkulunkulu uzokuzwa bese ekujezisa!”
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Lokho akuwenzanga umehluko, uMdelwa wageja umgodi olula ibhola legalofu liseduze nomgodi. “Shit! Ngageja futhi.”
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Ngawo lowo mzuzu kwavuleka isibhakabhaka kwaphuma umbani washaya umfundisi uDube waphangalala khona lapho.
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Makhathaleni kwezwakala izwi elikhulu esibhakabhakeni lathi, “Shit, ngageja!”

Ngikhumbula when I was 6 months old, ngavuka ngo 23:00 ngilambe nginya, and I cried kodwa kwathiwa ngibona imimoya nabathakathi. 😡

Intombazane iwela umgwaqo ngakwenye i-campus yase-UKZN.

Taxi Driver: “Awusuke endleleni weFees Must Fall!”

nali ikhehla lifika esibhedlela libuza kudokotela!
ikhehla; kodwa bantwabami yini le ebulala
umntanami kanje?
doctor; yingculaza baba
ikhehla; imenze kanjena pho, ikwenza kanjani
lokhu
doctor; hhai baba lesisifo sivele silwe namasosha
omzimba aze aphele, bese sizidlela
nje
ikhehla; hawu kodwa ndodana uma sekuphele
amasotsha omzimba anibe nisathumela ngisho
ama-security nje?

“Ngiyezwa sisi uthi yi-wrong number, pho manje le ndoda ekhalayo lapho ingumlandeli we-Pirates yini?” 🤔

Phela uma uphiwe u-lift, musa ukulokhu umemeza abantu ngewindi, iyawudla u-petrol leyo nto.

Awubazi ubunzima☝️ if you’ve never dated a bad kisser🤢
umuntu akhamise ngathi ucula amaculo womzabalazo🗣️✊✊