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Akushiwo ukuthi “UPETE”🙅‍♂️

Kthiwa amadolo abuzana impilo ☑️



Ngibulisa bonke abajola nabo Doctor ngithi “breath in”
Ngibulise abajola nama security ngithi “Vimba”
Ngibulise abajola no taxi drver ngithi “usdonse engathi uyasiyeka”
Ngibulise abajola nothisha ngithi “very good my girl”
Ngibulise abajola no cashier ngithi “plastiki?”
Ngibulise abajola nama poyisa ngithi “fakani okuncane”
Angibakhohlwa ke abajola eZion ngithi “khuluma moya”
Angibalibali ke abajola nosopolitiki ngithi kunina “ammmaaaaaaaaaandla”

Lento yokulala esofeni wasekhweni lami ngikhamise ayingphath kahle ngizwa ngomamezala eseth “Vala umlomo mkhwenyana uzophupha kabi”

Ngiphuphe ngiyeke utshwala.
Akekho yini umuntu owazi ukulahlisa amaphupho amabi?


“Ngiyezwa sisi uthi yi-wrong number, pho manje le ndoda ekhalayo lapho ingumlandeli we-Pirates yini?” 🤔


Wenzele intombi yase Limpopo iMed Lemon ayiphuze namakhekhe


Utsi Usayikhipha Nje Ivele Itsi “Kudzala Udla Ngami Mfana Wami,
Ake Usidle Ngemlomo Kuphela Namuhla!!!”.
– 😂✋

Her:Babe I’m pregnant.
Him:Ushintshe igama!
Her:Hayi wena I’m pregnant Serious ”
Him:Hahaha and Surname futhi!!

(Post by Mthandeni)
Mhla ngizikhiphe NoNonhlanhla 🙄👫 ay sifike sithenge iNkukhu 🐔 e Nando’s ,ejabule efe eth ujwayele i Kfc🙄 Ay sihambe siyohlala e park🏝 saqala Sadla saphuza ne juice 🍹ngathi sengisuth wasala wadla yedwa umlenze 🍗 saqeda saqabulana kwamnand💏 .
if sesihamba ngith asiqoqe ukudla, avele akuthathe kuqala akufake ku plastic then akufake ku dust bin🚮inhliziyo ishaye ngamandla ngith asambe ngimuphelezele ngimufake kwi taxi🚈 eyakubo ngivalelise, ngiphindele ngiyolanda lo kudla but ngidrayise ngokungena e mall kuqala ngiphume ngith ngiwela i robort 🚦uma ngiqhamuka nje nangu usephethe lo plastic shuth uphume ngenye indlela 😦 ay sijahane epark 🏃🏃 sibanga u plastic, angazi washayeka nin ngetshe, isandla sangena nin sonke E🍑 ukuth amaphoyisa afika nin but namanje ngisahamba icala le assault😞


who else hates lamakhekhe Avulwa njenge Condom kuma Choice Assorted?


UThembi usebenza emakhishini kodwa uqala ukungasayiboni kahle indoda yakhe ngesikhwele, engu Romeo. Afone ngefoni yemsebenzini.
Ngriii,
Romeo ‘halo’
thembi ‘ukup love’?
Romeo ‘ngsendlini’
thembi ‘akushaye ikomishi ngespunu ngizwe’
Romzz ‘nqi nqi nqi’
thembi ‘thanx baba ngyakthanda’
kuqhubeke ehlala efona kusenzeka kanje.
Ngelinye ilanga uThembi aphume early emsebenzini afike endlini athole u Eric,umntanabo edlala yedwa endlini.
‘hawu Tinky,uyep ubabakho?’
Eric ‘angimazi mama kodwa uhambe nespunu nekomishi

When you have a fight with your Nigerian boyfriend but
you’re forced to call him “baby” because
you can’t pronounce “Ukhuchukwa”


Ukuthi unezingane wena uzele akusho ukuthi uyakwazi ukwenza isex. Uyakhohlwa ukuthi akuthathanga mizuzu mingaki ukuthi inkukhu ibeke iqanda.

Whites: “The Expendables.”

Blacks: ” Le movie enez’tarring zodwa.”

Ayi ukuthi ngyesaba kushela
Into eyenza ngingajoli ukuthi kufuna sihlangane everyday
and mina anginazimpahla