White people

Caller : can you please give me Joe’s number

Receiver : 0612569123

Black people

Caller : hhoyi awung-Gaye Mabhelas kaSkebhe da

Receiver : sure uyiphethe ipen daa
Caller : ipen! Pen pen ukuphi nah ? Sure skhokho Sam

Receiver : 063

Caller : yah

Receiver 846

Caller : yah

Receiver : 4467

Caller : double 4 bani?

Receiver 4467

Caller double 4, 6 bani?

Imithetho Elishumi Nanye Okumele Igcinwe Yizivakashi Kulo Disemba:
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1. Ungalivuli i-fridge lami ungafakanga lutho kulo ngoba asikuhlanganiselanga okuphakathi.
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2. Uma uvakashile, fika no-plastic kanye negrosa, ucabanga ukuthi uzodla ukudla kwabani? 🤨
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3. Uma uvakashile yisho ukuthi uzohamba nini, futhi usheshe uhambe ngoba sizogcina singasakuthandisisi.
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4. Uma uvuka, cleaner ngoba asizwani namavila, kodwa uma u-cleaner ungashintshi lutho ngoba kayacika uma usukhuthele kakhulu.
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5. Ungazithethisi izingane zalapha ekhaya, uma zi-spoiled khumbula ukuthi zikubo, uwena osuke kini weza la kubo.
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6. Ungafiki namaCDs akho, lapha ekhaya kudlala ezethu izingoma kuze kuse, uma ungazithandi ungalokothi uzishintshe ngoba sizokubuka kabi maqede sikuxoshe.
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7. Ungayi njalo e-toilet ngoba asizwani nephunga esingalijwayele kanti futhi namanzi ayakhokhelwa.
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8. Uma sekuzofika izinsuku zakho zokuhamba uqikelele ukuthi imali iphelele ngoba asinayo eyokukugibelisa uma usuphindela emuva, asikulethanga futhi asikubizanga.
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9. Ungabi nabangani ozobathola ngapha ngoba isigcino uzobavakashisa lapha ekhaya kanti kwawena uvakashile bese uba nesidina more.
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10. Nge-New Year’s Eve kumele kuhlukanise ingoma kaLokhuza, uma kungenjalo sonke sizo-complainer. Ukhozi FM sizolucisha uma kuhlukanise ingoma esingayifuni bese sidlala uLokhuza ngefoni, wena-ke waphuma eceleni ungaphinde ubuye lapha ekhaya ngoba uyaphapha.
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11. Ziphathele i-charger yakho kanye nophaqa, bonus points uma uziphathele ne-adapter plug. Sizozwana.

Umuntu abhale i-post la kuFacebook athi: “Life though. 😥 💔”

Umbuze ukuthi kwenzenjani, athi: “Inbox please.”

Uma ufika ku-inbox, athi: “Let’s WhatsApp.”
Ku-WhatsApp athi: “Call me.”

Umfonele, athi: “Let’s meet.”
Uma nihlangana athi: “You won’t understand.”

Abantu abayeke insangu, nx! 😐 😥 😠

UMaMkhize wathosela uGumede iqanda.
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Gumede: “Ngithanda elibhoyiliwe iqanda.”
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MaMkhize: “Uxolo Qwabe.”
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Ngakusasa amenzele iqanda elibhoyiliwe.
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Gumede: “Ngithanda elithosiwe iqanda mina.”
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MaMkhize: “Ngiyaxolisa Mnguni.”
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Ngakusasa uMaMkhize abhoyile elilodwa, athose elilodwa bese enika umyeni wakhe.
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Gumede: “Bekufanele uthose leli, bese ubhoyila leli.”

Ungene nomuntu wakho kubo kuvele kuhlekwe
naye ahleke athi benginitshelile.

Nithi nisajola kamnandi emotweni yakho, kudlule amajita, athi oyedwa: “Ngizitholele noma isikorokorwana esinje kule festive.”

Usats ugezile umuhle afike muntfu atsi “geza sihambe”

Niyangichaza uma senintshontsha ama-post bese nithi ‘feeling crazy’. 😎

Yini? Nihlanyiswa ukweba? 🤨