`Z’hlobo zami ngithanda ukubonga uJehova ngoba amakhaza angifice sengiqedile iSyllabus yokugeza umzimba wonke. KuJune noJuly ngizobe ngenza nje ama revision lapha nalaphaya, ngigeza ubuso nenyawo nokwesula amakhwapha!“

After witnessing a domestic fight:
.
Whites: They were Arguing and He slapped her in the face.
Blacks: Umfazi ubesathi peperepe peperepe pepepepepepepe ngazwa vaaaaah!!!

Whites: Oh wow she’s blind and she’s pregnant, so beautiful
BLACKS: iPipi oyibonile yona

– Don: You Know i Can Make A ZULU Guy Bark Like A Dog ? 😒
– White Man: 😏 No Ways Dude ✋ That’s impossible 😤

(They Meet A ZULU Guy Who is A Friend Of Don)

– Don: Mfethu Uyazi Ukuthi U Simon UshoniLe ? 😓😥
– ZULU Guy: HAWU! HAWU! HAWU! HAWU! !!!! Kanjani??

NELLY : Sizwe’s phone hello😐
*Zinhle: hi ngicela ukukhuluma no Sizwe😐
*NELLY : sorry usalele ngicela ubuye ufonele later😐
*Zinhle : ngikhuluma nobani vele?😐
*NELLY : mina ngu NELLY intombi yakhe😊
*Zinhle : OK ngicela ungitshelele yena ukuthi U Zinhle intombi yakhe yase Zakheni bekafonile and bengithi ngiyeza ngizomenzela i washing😊
*NELLY : don’t worry dear sengiyenzile sengi ayina i uniform yakhe manje, ohh uwena oshiye le gown e pink la?😊
*Zinhle : yebo eyami ngicela ungibekele yona kahle nama sleepers😊
*NELLY : OK by the way ngibona nama pillow case amasha la😊
*Zinhle : yebo ngiwathenge last week e street sheet ngo R500😊
*NELLY : OK ngizoknika u R250 kanye nemali ye taxi wona mahle shame une taste girl😊
*Zinhle : thanx ngicela utshele uSizwe ukuthi ngizombona next week😊
*NELLY : why ngezi kusasa ntambama ngoba mina ngizohamba ekseni😊
*Zinhle : OK dear bye then😊
*NELLY :bye bye love😊
IMPILO KUMELE IBE NJE ANGITHI LADIES NEH

UMsaphozi emngcwabeni!!!
Msaphozi: Sanibonani nonke etendeni. Ngiyabonga ukuthola leli thuba lokukhuluma ngomzala.
Umzala ushona nje besegulile sonke simubonile. Futhi umzala mina ngangithi uzofa ngo 2010 ngoba nalapho wake wagula wabangwa nezibi kodwa wavuka waphinda waqhubeka lapho ayegcine khona nokuqoma, waqoma okusengathi akakaze agule nhlobo.
OMagwaza nomshumayeli uXulu bangixaka sebejola naye umzala ekubeni yibo abebumuthandazela esebangwa nezibi ngoba ayi nani madoda nikholwa ngokuzibonela ukuthi kunani phansi kwesiketi.
Ngageza izandla uma sengizwa kuthiwa nawe Mfundisi usujola nomzala kodwa ngeke sizixoxe lezo ngoba sisemngcwabeni kanti nomfazi wakho ukhona lapha, kodwa ngadumala ngoba phela wena Mfundisi ubumazi kahle umzala ingane kaAnti ukuthi ayilungile kodwa ke ngeke ngikujaje Mfundisi ngoba nawe uwumuntu njengabo obab’ Mkhize laba laphaya emuva (ekhomba uMkhize) obeze agaklaze umfazi wakhe efuna ukuza kuye umzala lona.
UmkaMkhize njengoba elapha nje ufuna ukuzibonela ukuthi umzala wami ufe ngempela yini.
Kona ke engingakusho ngomzala wami ubewathanda amadoda ikakhulukazi ashadile futhi nawo emthanda kodwa into enhle uze wafa umzala engahlukanisanga muntu nenkosikazi yakhe.
La endaweni ngithi mabili mathathu amadoda emizi yawo angajolanga nomzala. Ngithukile nje uZungu uma esesikhokhisa layikhaya ngokuqasha itende lakhe kodwa ke ngabuye ngabona ukuthi unkosikakazi wakhe ubengazi ukuthi ubejola nomzala ngalokho siyamxolela uZungu siwumndeni ngaleso senzo sakhe.
Mzala wami uhambe kahle uma ufika ezulwini ungasiphoxi uqomane namasulumane, amaJuda, oPilatu noSamusoni beno Nebukhedinesari.
Uziphathe kahle mzala ezulwini uhlale ngentombi yize ingasekho nje kodwa uzame mzala wami… Uhambe kahle mntaka Anti sohleze sibabaza imigilingwane yakho!!
Ngiyabonga ngisaya ngale exhibeni sengikhulume ngaze ngoma.

Boy : can you please give me your number
Girl : Are you working ?
Boy : No
Girl : 073 154 7381
Boy : (2 min later) hhayi! Bo ayisebenzi le-
number
Girl : ifana nawe

Ngiyavuma, imizi ayifani, kodwa kwaNtuli bawuthathaphi umshanelo obhalwe ukuthi Grade 9A?