Her:Can I saw you now!
Him:NGATHI HLUKANA NE ENGLISH WENA

Zulu girls can easily dump u for not having foreskin n be like:LENYAMA IYASHODA

Dear Coca-Cola
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Ngithi anginazise ukuthi laba bantu enibasebenzisa kwizikhangisi zenu bayangichaza. Indlela abalibamba ngalo ibhodlela leCoke elibanda mpo, nendlela abalivula ngalo bese bephuza mlibe sengathi yikameli lasogwadule iSahara. Baphuza bankunkuluze ngebhodlela bephakamise ubuso kancane sakubheka elangeni, amehlo evaliwe kamnandi, begwinya lesi siphuzo imiphimbo yabo inyakaza kamnandi ngomgqigqo engihluleka ngisho ukuwuchaza. Bese bethatha ikhefu babuke ibhodlela ngamehlo anothando bemamatheka, basuke lapho belesule umjuluko ngesithupha.
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Cha, nami-ke ngiyile esitolo ngafike ngacela iCoke ebandayo. Ngendlela ebengome ngayo, bengizimisele ukuyiphuza kube sengathi ngishutha isikhangisi seCoca-Cola lesi esengisichazile ngenhla. Bengizoyiphuza sengathi ngiphuza amanzi emva kokuzivocavoca kanzima ejimini.
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Hhayi-ke, ngibe sengihlala phansi ebhentshini eduze kwesitolo ngase ngilivula ibhodlela lami. Ukube bekukhona ongibonayo, ubengafunga agomele ukuthi ngishutha isikhangisi sonyaka! Besingakawi naphansi isivalo, kodwa ngikutshela ukuthi ibhodlela bese ngilixhumile kowami umlomo. Ngizamile ukuyinkunkuluza (njengalabo bantu benu engibabona kwizikhangisi), kodwa ngasheshe ngaxhilwa amagwebu engingazi ukuthi aqhamukephi. Le Coke yenu, igcine seyiphuma ngamakhala kanti futhi enye ingene ngomgudu o-wrong yafika emaphashini. Ngikhwehlele kwaze kwacishe ukuphuma inhliziyo, nomphefumulo wami bese ngithi uyaphuma impela! Le system yami yokuphefumula ibihlangene nezimbila zithutha, inhliziyo yami bese isho ukuma nse. Amehlo ami kade esebomvu tebhu, izinyembezi zigeleza. Amakhala ami esemanzi amafinyila. Bese ngithi ngiyafa, umzimba wami ushukuma. Ubuso bami bonke, ihembe lami nebhulukwe emathangeni ngimanzi nte yile Coke. Amathe, amafinyila, nezinyembezi. Ukufa ngikubone ngamehlo, ithuna lami ngijike endleleni sengilibonile ngo-“see”. Leli kahle kahle yicala lokuzama ukubulala. Isikhubekiso soqobo empilweni yami.
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Kuyayiwa kubo kaJesu ngiyanitshela! Liyothethwa leli cala. Ngethemba usathane ubhizi utheza izinkuni azonilothisa ngazo esihogweni ngoba liyonilahla leli cala.
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Yimina owenu
(obengumthandi weCoca-Cola, but not anymore)

Ungabuzi indlela emuntwini okhuluma isiTshangane. Ngeke ufike la oya khona.
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Ungezwa ethi “Famba straight itafika lahaya,iku ehh,iku ihh,iku ohh,ifamba futhi ifika lahaya iku ohh, iku ahh,iku ehh,iku ihh,ifamba ilanguta kathlelo rasinene itavona gate ro bhasa hingena…”

Pain yokubona umuntu wakini ethola 4 likes, 💔 ungazi naye ubefunani ko-Facebook. 😐

Dear Zulus🗣
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I’m just a messenger,Bathi..
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1.You said you are going to kill Van Damme..we did not ask you why.
2.You said nigibela phez’u ko mbede..nobody complained.
3.Then you went and told us that Umlilo wa Big Nuz uyashisa singa ulogothi..we didn’t ask why we shouldn’t logothi that Mlilo.
4.Phuzekhemisi told us “njalo nje Imbizo”..we did not ask about your imbizo.
‘
So nina Mazulu..nisthathaphi isbindi..where do you take the liver to ask us about Idibala?Yi idabala yethu..se yekeni se idibale.Angithi azanke se ni botšiše ngo Van dam??Nathi se tlogeleng..sfuna ku idibala thina😑🚮
‘
Sincerely Yours
Idibala Spokesperson

Okwenziwe yi-breadwinner yasekhaya izolo ngiyokuxoxela amagwababa echobana, ingene ne-heater ekamelweni layo yathi thina sokotha umlilo weBig Nuz.