Me: send me your nudes
Her:(typing..)
Me: so you’re typing your nudes vhele vhele

piece of advise to the ladies…

If a guy takes you out for a romantic date on Tuesday and Wednesday nights this season instead of watching the UEFA Champions League, it’s not love., he’s a Chelsea fan. Be advised!!

in a court of law:
.
Magistrate: Why did you hit your husband by a chair?
Accused Lady: Because I couldn’t lift the table.

My girlfriend went to study abroad and came back with a baby who looks exactly like her. I asked her what that was all about and she said that the child was given to her as a token of appreciation for her good behavior in campus. She thinks am stupid, well am not. I know she probably stole that child or something.

Mother in law asks her son’s wife:
“why all the children don’t resemble their father?”
She replies: “What i have in between my legs is a
reproductive system, not a photocopying machine

Some boys Being dumped by a girl you love and
you don’t know what to say to change her mind,
you end up saying stuff like..
.
“Babe, I’m pregnant!

Knock Knock…Who’s there ?…Norma Lee!…Norma Lee who ?…
Norma Lee don’t go round knocking on doors !

Any woman cheating on her man this year may u catch fire, break your leg, loose your front teeth…

Any man cheating on his woman…Father forgive us and teach us how to love for we don’t know what we are doing.

Don’t Let Social Media Fool You ✋ ,
Some Of These Niggas Be Eating Cornflakes With
Water And Sugar 😒

If your girlfriend picks up a call and start pressing the volume key down, that’s him.
That’s your deputy

Dear girlfriend!!!
Next time I ask you “how was your day?”,
Don’t give me “it was good” typpa shit.
I mean tell me everything. I want a detailed explanation!!

Guys I don’t like to argue😕

I dumped her because she said they say: “All rights in court”😐 and i told her they say: “All rice in court”…She disagreed with me😑…so i can’t continue with a fool