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He came home from work, tired. He sat down on the sofa and put his feet up. His wife brought him a glass of water. His son gave him a sheet of paper and he read through:

English 17%
Biology 25%
Mathematics 20%
Physics 17%
Chemistry 22%
Economics 12%
Agriculture. 39%
Geography 22%

Suddenly, he lost his temper and started shouting: “What is this? All the time you are on phone and TV! How dare you bring me such marks? How dare you?”

His wife said: “Be patient. Listen….” But he interjected,”Shut up! It’s your love and pampering that has spoilt him. He is no good and never serious at all!”

His Wife said: “Oh,really?”
He shouted: “No one in our family has performed so badly,ever!”

The son said: “Dad, I am sorry I made you angry. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this. It is your old school report card, dated 27th July, 1980 sir.”

The man became humbled and dumbfounded. Imagine the atmosphere afterwards. Calmness in the air. With a foolish grin on his face,he replied, “Son,you don’t know. Those days food was scarce.” 🤦🏽‍♀
😁😁😂😂🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼🏃🏼

*MORAL OF THE STORY*
James 1:19 “So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”

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You will never shine like a star,
if u havn’t seen darkness in ur life

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A couple had a quarrel one evening. When it was time to sleep, the man lay on the floor while the lady slept on the bed. Later into the night, the husband had an erection, he then held his small man and said “you better sleep, didn’t you see that I quarreled with her?”

The lady replied:

“don’t involve everybody in our quarrels, the case is between you and I, don’t involve him. Allow him to come and play with his friend”

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Pursue your dreams without considering people! People will tell you you can’t do something just because they themselves think they can’t do it. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you and believe in your dreams!

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Gal: Hei dude, do you smoke?
Boy: Yes i do.
Gal: How many packs a day?
Boy; 3 packs.
Girl: Owkey, den how much per pack?
Boy: R10.00 each
Gal: And how long have you been
smoking?
Boy: it abt 15 years
Gal: So 1 pack cost R10.00 and you have
3packs a day which puts your spending
each month at R900. Then in one year, it
would be R10,800. Ryt??
Boy: Ofcos jeas.
Gal: If in 1 year you spend R10,800 not
accounting for inflation, the past 15 years
puts your spending at R162,000 correct?
Boy: Jah correct
Gal: Do you know that if you hadn’t
smoked all along,that money could have
been put in a step-up interest savings
account and after accounting for
compound interest for the past 15 years,
you could have now
bought a Ferrari?
Boy: Yoooh!!!! my dear serious..
Gel: Jah dats fact.
Boi: So wena do you smoke?
Gal: No
Boy: Then where’s your Ferrari???

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Q : what you will do if you lazy and
someone tell you to go to the market?
A : i will visit the online market

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A woman was pregnant for 9 months and
gave birth to an angel reading this post

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Our Father😍
Who art in Valentine’s day💑🌸❤️
Hallow be thy dates💖💐
Thy Gifts and Kisses🌷🌼😘😍
Thy will be handed out💯❤️✅
As we watch pure sadness✋😚💔
Give us the luck💋💖💓👀☝️
Find the date’s before 14th👫💑😍
And forgive us for rejecting other kids🤗😇🤔
As we forgive those who shapa us with Stena💔💯🙅
Lead us not into single world✋🏃🛑❌
Deliver us from cheating💔💮💯😍✋🏃
For thy is the reason🙅🏃✋🙄🤔💛
Wr stay single forever and ever AMEN❤️💖👀💝

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Amazing Calendar
*(2018)*
01-01-2018 Sunday
02-02-2018 Sunday
03-03-2018 Sunday
04-04-2018 Sunday
05-05-2018 Sunday
06-06-2018 Sunday
07-07-2018 Sunday
08-08-2018 Sunday
09-09-2018 Sunday
10-10-2018 Sunday
11-11-2018 Sunday
12-12-2018 Sunday
Interesting….

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Success of life will create crowd for you,
but
Tough time in life will create a true person in you.

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A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on his wife’s movements. The husband demanded more than just a written report – he wanted a video of his wife’s activities. A week later, the detective returned with a tape and sat down to watch it with the husband. As the tape played, he saw his wife meeting another man. He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them having a playful fight in the street. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. When the tape ended, the distraught husband said: “I can’t believe this !” “What’s not to believe?” asked the detective. “It’s right up there on the screen. The camera never lies.” The husband replied: “What I mean is,
I can’t believe my wife is so much fun!”

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Girl: my right leg is lunch my left leg is dinner,
what have will you have?
Boy: I will like to have snacks between lunch and dinner…

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Marry a strong woman. Your daughter will have a role model and your son will know what to look for in a woman when he’s a man..!

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Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes,
but when we look back,
everything is different.

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Imagine What Church Will Be Like In The Year 2030 if care is not taken…
Pastor: Praise The Lord
Congregation: Hallelujah
Pastor: Can We Pls Open our iPads to Exodus 20:1
When U r Done Kindly Switch On Ur Bluetooth To Receive The Sermon…
Pls Have Ur Debit Cards Ready As We Collect The Tithes And Offerings….
You Can Connect To Church WiFi Using Password: Lord3732
And As For The Renovations And Donations U r Welcome To Contribute Via Cellphone Banking
The Holy Atmosphere Will Be Electric As IPads Flicker
Meanwhile… ANNOUNCEMENTS
Church Secretary: Dis Week’s Meeting Will Be Held On Various WhatsApp Groups So Pls Don’t Miss Out …
Wednesday Bible Teaching Will Be Held Live On Skype @1900GMT…
By D Way You May Follow The Pastor On Twitter For Counselling And don’t Forget Our Weekly Prayers On YouTube… God Bless us….
If care is not taken, this is how next generation children will learn their ABC. A for Apple won’t be useful anymore…. Instead:
A is for ATM
B is for Bluetooth
C is for Chatting
D is for Download
E is for Email
F is for Facebook
G is for Google
H is for Hotmail
I is for instagram
J is for Java
K is for Konga
L is for Laptop
M is for MTN
N is for Network
O is for Opera Mini
P is for PicMix
Q is for QuickTime
R is for RAM
S is for Skype
T is for Twitter
U is for USB
V is for Vista
W is for WhatsApp
X is for Xender
Y is for Yahoo
Z is for Zuma

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