If you’re going to talk about me behind my back,
don’t smile at me to my face.
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Give the world the best you have and
the best will come back to you.
– Madeline Bridges
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A man’s biggest mistake is giving another man
an opportunity to make his woman smile
Dont ever try that all men because
you will regret the rest of your life!!!
Dont say i didnt warn you
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The pain of opening a
“I need a favour” message by mistake😩
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There is someone who doesn’t even know a high school gate but they are busy talking about matric results!
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This Winter weather is good for farming……..
Find a hole and plant a seed.
Dont be a lazy man .
Real men know what I mean.😅
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I think, I’m going to lose my drivers
license…
and all just because of a stupid
police officer…
The conversation went like this,
when I got pulled over in my car:
Officer: “License and registration,
please, I think you are drunk!”
Me: “I assure you, I did not drink
anything.”
Officer: “Ok, let’s do a little test!
Imagine driving in the dark on a
highway at night, when you see two
lights in the distance. What is this?”
Me: “A car.”
Officer:”Of course! But which one? A
Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?”
Me:”I have no idea!”
Officer:”So, you’re drunk.”
Me:”But I didn’t drink anything.”
Officer:”Okay, one more test —
Imagine, you drive in the dark on a
highway at night, and there is one
light coming at you.What is it?
Me:”A motorcycle.”
Officer:”Of course! But which one? A
Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?”
Me:”I have no idea!”
Officer:”As I suspected, you’re drunk!”
Then I started to get annoyed and
asked a counter question.
Me:”So…, counter question — You’re
driving in the dark on a highway at
night and see a woman on the
roadside. She wears a mini skirt,
fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes
and only a bra as a top. What is this?”
Officer:”A prostitute of course.”
Me:”Yes, but which one? Your
daughter, your wife or your mother?”
Things went downhill from there and
now I have a court date to attend…
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Dating a skinny chick is a problem when she is like
”Babe switch off the fan it’s pushing me”
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how to kiss a man”
First, come with him
, bring your face closer to him,
Islide your hand in his pocket, get his wallet! And don’t kiss him, just run!
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You can ignore me for as long as you want,
but you can never change the memories
that I brought in your life.
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Q : what you will do if you lazy and
someone tell you to go to the market?
A : i will visit the online market
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When your mom’s friend says hey cutie pie come to aunty
And you remember her voice from 9months ago saying
“chommie just make an abortion “
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Life Was Lonely.
No One Was There.
I Had No Good Friend.
And When You Came Into My Life Then I Realised That..
.
Being lonely was better yaar!
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married men should be provided with uniforms for easy identification….
we are fixing the country!!!
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If he no longer cleans his room when you visits…
My sister just know that you’ve been promoted
from side chick to main chick
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That awkward moment you are playing ‘Spin the bottle’ and it points to your crush and she says “hay Yoh!!, Ngeke (nope can’t be)!!! . . . spin again”…😀
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