Can I Take Your pictures ?? I love To Collect Photos Of Natural Disaster

*I’m selling chickens online, you transfer money, I will give chickens directions.*

Wedding in America :
Invited: 100
Present at church :80
Present at reception :70
Gifts:67
Missing object: 0
Wedding in London :
Invited:100
Present at church: 90
Present at reception :85
Gifts:78
Missing object:0
Wedding in South Africa :
Invited:500
Present at church:21
Present at reception:1,505
Gifts:18
Envelops: 25
delivered dishes:1099
Missing items:20 phones, 300spoons, 10 cake knives, 1 photographer camera. Missing cans, beer, bottles of wines and whisky, kidnapping of 2 of the guests, girlfriend missing gone with other guest, boyfriend looking for his girlfriend, girlfriend looking for her boyfriend. Remaining gifts missing, fighting outside, 50chairs broken, 5tables broken, 3decoration curtains missing
Complete d rest

*Before u fall in love, test the strength of your heart by
playing soccer bet with your rent.*

People who buy a car & don’t post it online have a PhD in maturity.
As for me i will even park it on your timeline…..
After that I will go by my ex’s house to ask for directions to my place.

My Dad is the Best
He didn’t wanna
see me suffer so
He ran away

People like writing TV because they can’t spell TellHerVison

Dear White men,
U asked us to wear coats under hot sun, we did;
U said we should speak your language,
we have obediently ignored ours.
U asked us to always tie a rope around our necks like goats,
we have obeyed without questioning.
U asked our ladies to wear dead people’s hair instead of the natural
hair God gave to them, they have obeyed.
U said we should marry just one woman in the midst of plenty black angels,
we reluctantly agreed.
You said our decent girls should wear catapults instead of the conventional pants, they have obeyed.
You asked us to use rubber in order to control our birth rate,
we agreed yet we all know sweetness of live SEX!

Now U want our MEN to sleep with fellow MEN &
WOMEN with fellow WOMEN so that God would punish us like
Sodom and Gomorrah?
White folk, we say Nonsense!!
We don’t agree with U this time!
As proud Africans, we say a huge NO to GAY relationships.
If you agree with me,let’s claps hands together wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawa

Olu is a house boy who drinks his boss’ wine and then adds water for cover up.​ ​His boss became suspicious and decided to buy pasties ( A french wine that change colour if water added)​.

​As usual, olu drank the pasties and topped it up with water. ​Unfortunately for him, the pasties changed colour. When the boss came back home and notice the colour change, he told his wife about it.​ ​

Olu knew he was in trouble and decided to stay in the kitchen.
​
​The boss shouted, “olu!!!”
​
​olu answered..”Yes, Sir!”
​
​Boss.. “Who drank the pasties?”​
​olu didn’t respond.

​The boss ask again, still no answer. Then the boss went to the kitchen to confront him.​ “Are you insane or what? When I called you, you said ‘Yes Sir’, but when I asked you a question, you didn’t answer me!

​Hmmm Oga, when you are in the kitchen you don’t hear anything except your name,”​ olu answered.

“Let’s try it. Okay go to the bar and stand beside madam, while I will stay in the kitchen. Then call me and then ask me any question,”​ The Boss suggested.

Olu shouted, “Boss!”​

​Boss answered, “Yes!”
​
​olu asked, “Who goes into the maid’s bedroom when madam isn’t around?”
​
​Boss didn’t answer​.

​Olu asked again, the Boss kept quiet.
​
​The boss came out from the kitchen shouting, “Wonders shall never end!!!

Olu it’s true. When one’s in the kitchen, one doesn’t hear anything except ones name”​.

​The wife interrupted, “That’s not true. It’s a lie”.​

​Without argument olu ask if she’d like to enter the kitchen to be tested and she agreed.
​
​olu called, “Madam!

​Madam answered, “Yes!”
​
​Olu asked, “Who is Junior’s biological father? Me or boss?”​

​Madam rushed out of the kitchen saying, “This kitchen needs to be checked, I can’t hear anything!”​:

Don’t laugh alone. Share with others, spread the joke​.