Stop asking if I’m okay, I’m tired of lying
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A black child is not scared of going back to school…
.
He is afraid of bathing everyday
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Long distance Relationship is nice you just text
“I wish you were here
” then you go to cheat in peace..!
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A good laugh: On Sunday, I was sitting in a church my friend invited me to, and when it was time for the offering, the offering plate was passed around. The Pastor made a request for gift offering so I still hurriedly and secretly pulled out $20 from my pocket and dropped it in the offering plate. Just then, the person behind me tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a $100 bill. I smiled, how generous, then majestically I looked around and put the $100 in the plate and passed it on, then I turned and thanked the man seriously for being so generous. He replied “don’t mention it; be more careful next time, it fell from your pocket” Whaaaat???!!!!!…….usher please wait wrong Transaction!!!!!!!!
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Some people write Xmas because they can’t write creasmas.
We see you.
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I met a v smart Girl Richa practising as a lawyer , at the post office.
She was posting about 4 dozen cards.
I asked her what was the occasion?
She said that these were Valentine cards and signed as “Guess Who” and sent to all the married men in and around her society.
She said that last year she had posted about 2 dozen and was lucky to have about 4 divorce cases.
So this time she wanted to increase her business.
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“Tears of EYES are Valuable”
“Speech of LIPS are Powerful”
“Heart With LOVE is Beautiful”
“Life with FRIENDS is Most Wonderful”.. !!
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We the National Association of Husbands
And Boyfriends’ (NAHAB), wish to announce
our annual 3 days strike which will commence
on 13 FEB and end on 16 FEB.
Please note; our cellphones will not
be working during the strike & our
relationship commitments will commence
on the 17 FEB, we apologise for any
inconvenience to our wives & girlfrends
who were hoping to be with us on valentines day.
So, wats yo response? Is it:
(a) Viva NAHAB viva!!!! or
(b)
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My neighbor z planning on bringing a native doctor to the compound,cus they stole her chicken…..
Chicken that is not even sweet
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Thami was late for class and the teacher asked him were was he was? Thami:mam, i had a dream that i was playing soccer
Teacher :so what?
Thami: we had extra time and penalties
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Interviewer: – What Drives You?
Candidate: – The Bus Mostly.
Interviewer: – I Mean What Motivates You To
Get Out Of Bed In The Morning?
Candidate: – Missing the Bus!
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Yesterday i took my bicycle nd went to the liquor store nd buy a bottle of whisky and put it in the bicycle basket. As i was about to leave, i thought to myself “what if i fall off the bicycle? What will happen to my Bottle 
” so i decided to drink all the whisky before i cycled home. it turned out to be a good decision because i fell seven times on the way home. Imagine what would’ve happened to the bottle.
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Believe me:
One day you’ll laugh at the problems you have today..
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if your parents get mad at you for coming home late,
please respect them & come back in the morning.
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Vocadom is the best
.
.
Now go back and read the first word slowly cos clearly you are drunk
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Dating me and putting me on your d.p is not enough
I want to be your ringtone.
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