A farmer drove to a neighbours farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or your mum home?” said the farmer. “No, they went to town.” “How about your brother, Jack? Is he here?” “No, he went with Mum and Dad.” The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself. “ I can give dad a message.” said the boy. “Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother, Jack, getting my daughter Susie pregnant”. The boy thought for a moment“ You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don’t know how much he charges for Jack.”

Am sure people who lived in bible were whites only,
Black people can’t kill a person who turns water into alcohol .

In a “Mental Hospital” of 38 patient’s, a journalist asks the Doctor: How do you determine whether to admit a mental patient or not to?

Dr: “Well, we fill a bathtub with water and then give the patient;
(a). a teaspoon,
(b). a glass,
(c). a bucket,
and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

Journalist: “Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.”

Dr: “No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed No.39.
We will start further investigations on you!”

Next time I take a lady out I’m inviting her ex….
I need to hear both sides of the story,
you ladies lie too much when you see food

Whoever sold a calculator to my Grandma
as a phone your days are numbered

Dad: Who do u like more dad or mom?
–
Rich: Both
–
Dad: Ok if i go to UK and your mom goes to America, where will u go?
–
Rich: America
–
Dad: That shows u love your mom more
–
Rich: No it shows I love America more than I love UK
–
Dad: ok, If i go to America and your mom goes to UK, where will u go?
–
Rich: UK
–
Dad: why
–
Rich: I choose UK because I went to America before
–
Dad: when???
–
Rich: During the first question

Once she starts replying your calls like ‘eeeeeesh helo’
bro just know that your days are numbered

Ladies who always say ‘All men are dogs……!!’
Yes we are dogs but what type of dog is your dad????

Just passing here..

WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH A WOMAN IS REALLY STRESSFUL.
Wife: which teams are playing?
Husband: Arsenal vs Manchester United
Wife : oooh wonderful! I love Arsenal..
Husband: that’s a good team…
Wife: is Drogba playing?
Husband: he doesn’t play for any of these teams…
Wife: okay sweeet…is that Chris Brown?
Husband: [bored] no he is Chamberlain…
Wife : okay but they look the same…what’s that yellow card for?
Husband: its a warning to the player…
After few minutes Rooney scores for Manchester United….
Wife: [cerebrates in high mood] is that Chamberlain who has scored?
Husband: [calmly] no its Rooney for Manchester United…!!
Wife: [furious] how? it should be arsenal who
should have scored!!
Husband: [silent]
Wife: what is that red card for?
Husband : [bored] that means the player should go out of the pitch for misbehaving.
Wife: then is he going to be a coach?
Husband:[unwilling to answer] aaaaaaa no…
Wife: its the same with traffic lights: yellow=warning; red=danger.
Husband: exactly darling…
Wife :what about the green card?
Husband: mmmm nothing of that kind in a field of play….
Wife: I want arsenal to win the world cup…
Husband: [silent]
Wife: who is that man standing, who looks like Mr. Bean?
Husband: [bored] it’s the Arsenal coach ….Arsene Wenger.
Wife: that means the other opponent’s coach is Manchest Wenger?
Husband: [changes the channel]

Have you ever eat with swollen heart,
food you bought for a girl who didn’t come?