If you come to see me and they tell you am not around but you still arguing…
I come out myself and tell you am not around!

This Morning When I Checked My Whatsapp Messages, I Got 10 Pics From My Ex & She’s Naked In All Of ‘Em… 😑
O Ya Hlanya. 🖕🏽
.
I See Her Intentions… 😏
I’m Not Gonna Buy Her New Clothes.

My Sister if you’re still with your baby daddy,
you, your mother and your grandmother know what you did

Anyone selling a second hand relationship? Even if it has problems, I will fix it.💁‍♀️😏

My neighbour’s Kia Picanto is stuck…..
Anyone with a FILA sneaker, please come and tow it

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.

-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.

Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.

The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.

The client went into his room, he didn’t ask for food or anything else.

Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.

After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client’s room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.

The boss didn’t sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.

In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.

He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.

The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.

The boss was in a shock but he didn’t reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.

After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.

The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.

This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.

Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn’t leave his face.

The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn’t arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.

The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.

To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.

The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.

In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.

-”If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?”
-”I promise I will never let anyone know”.
-”Swear”
-”I swear I won’t reveal your secret”
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.

Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Uptil now he hasn’t revealed his secret to anyone.

When he does, I will let you know..

Doing nothing is very hard to do.
You never know when you’re finished😏

i Would Rather Drink A Poison Than To Go To The Toilet
Without My Phone

WOMAN: My Husband is not interested in sex
DOCTOR: Okay, Give these pills to him.
Everyday,put one pill in his tea.
The woman did and they had sex which she really enjoyed.
Next day she thought to herself “It can only get better”
and puts two pills in his tea and they enjoyed more sex.
On the third day, she emptied the whole bottle in his tea.
Two days later doctor called to know the progress.
Their son answered, “My ass is very sore,
Mommy is in coma at the moment,
Aunty is in hospital, the maid is suing dad for rape and
daddy is still running naked in the garden, shouting Bingo! Bingo!!Bingo!!!
Even the dogs are running for their lives.”

Everyone must b carefully when walking outside ,
i just saw a lion right now on top of de matches box
plz be warned