I can’t wait to hate my daughter’s
boyfriend for nothing

Kamo GETS HOME AT MID-NIGHT…HIS WIFE ALREADY ASLEEP WITH A BROKEN HEART..

Kamo :My wife, please open 4 me…
…
Wife:Where are u coming from in the middle of the night…U will sleep there outside..

Kamo : Please open or else l will throw myself in the swimming pool & drown as u know, l cant swim.
.
Wife: Go ahead & throw yourself, l don’t

care…kamo THEN TOOK A BIG ROCK & THREW IT IN THE POOL..WHEN HIS WIFE HEARD THE LOUD SPLASH, SHE PANICKED, OPENED THE DOOR & RUSHED OUTSIDE, WITH JUST HER PANT & BRA ON…IMMEDIATELY, kamo RAN INTO THE HOUSE AND LOCKED HIS WIFE OUTSIDE…

Wife: Wena kamo open 4 me, this is not funny at all…

Kamo : Just wait there, l’m phoning my relatives and yours & the neighbours, so that you explain to them where you are coming from, in the middle of the night naked…

That moment when you want to throw a stone at your friend…you missed and it hit an old woman, and then the woman picks up the stone and put it inside her bag and walk away

You be like gogo come back with my stone.

Women are like police, they can have all the evidence
in the world but they still want a confession.

On Monday, I asked my wife for R200 to go for a drink since it was a holiday. Truly speaking I’m that one guy who doesn’t like bathing.
So my wife said she will give me that 200 but on one condition.
She said go and bath I have already put some warm water in the bath,
I went there and took some Vaseline and did my own things. I didn’t bath, and then rush back to where she was sitting with our kids.
And I said I’m done bathing may you please give me the money so that I can go?
To my surprise they all started laughing at me and one of my kids said *”Lol Dad you didn’t bath because the money is just under the soap”

Two people who are causing problems in the world/;
A RICH guy
A beautiful woman

WHEN I WAS YOUNG

I’d put my arms in my shirt 👕 and told people I lost my arms💪
• Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose❎🚫
• Had that one pen with four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once😔
• Waited behind a door 🚪 to scare someone, then leaving because they’re taking too long to come out 🚶 .
• Faked being asleep, so I couldbe carried to bed🏠
• Used to think that the moon🌚followed our car🚗
• Tried to balance the switch between On/ Off💢.
• Watching two drops of rain roll down window 💦pretending itwas a race 🏁 .
• The only thing i had to takecare of was a school bag 👝 .
• Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree 🎄was going to grow in my tummy.
• Closed the fridge extremely slowly to see when the lights went off😜👀.
• Walked into a room,. forgot what you needed😕, Walked out,and then remember😮.
If u really went through this can u drop a”HI”

Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
–
“No”, she replies sleepily.
–
“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
–
Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!”

Some guys are HIV negative because they’re broke 😏
you should thank God for your brokenness is a blessing in a way

Dear bae
● Laѕт Weeĸ I bought KFC you made it
Cнιcĸen Sтew, I kept quiet
● I bought Pιzza you spread Peanυт Bυттer
and Raмa, I kept quiet.
● Yesterday you poured Rιce Mayonnaιѕe
and Toмaтo Saυce while it’s still on a
Stove! Still I kept quiet.
●Today i forgot my phone at home, I came
back only to find 30 Mιѕѕed Callѕ Froм Yoυ,
when I ask what you wanted! You said
you wanted to tell me that I left my Pнone!
Aowa I’m done with you hey, Iт’ѕ Over
Sтrυυ!!