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Gal: Hei dude, do you smoke?
Boy: Yes i do.
Gal: How many packs a day?
Boy; 3 packs.
Girl: Owkey, den how much per pack?
Boy: R10.00 each
Gal: And how long have you been
smoking?
Boy: it abt 15 years
Gal: So 1 pack cost R10.00 and you have
3packs a day which puts your spending
each month at R900. Then in one year, it
would be R10,800. Ryt??
Boy: Ofcos jeas.
Gal: If in 1 year you spend R10,800 not
accounting for inflation, the past 15 years
puts your spending at R162,000 correct?
Boy: Jah correct
Gal: Do you know that if you hadn’t
smoked all along,that money could have
been put in a step-up interest savings
account and after accounting for
compound interest for the past 15 years,
you could have now
bought a Ferrari?
Boy: Yoooh!!!! my dear serious..
Gel: Jah dats fact.
Boi: So wena do you smoke?
Gal: No
Boy: Then where’s your Ferrari???

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I Told my uncle that I see myself wen I luk at him.
I don’t know why he smiled becoz there’s honestly too much Vaseline on his face

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Am man went to an hotel and ordered the waiter for some food. The man awaited for about one hour. I was there wondering among the two who was supposed to be called waiter?

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Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: “Stop! If you take one more step, a rock will fall down and kill you.” The man stopped; a big rock fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, “Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die.” The man stood still; a car came speeding around the corner, barely missing him. “Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?” “I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered. “Oh yeah?” the man asked. “Where the hell were you when I got married last week?

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Slay Queens Be Adding
Flowers To Their Heads
Paying Tribute To Their Dead Brains

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*Who Yr Wife is ….*
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
1. Your wife is not perfect, forgive her.
2. Your wife is the bone of your bone, do not break her.
3. Your wife is a gift, appreciate her.
4. Your wife is a rare gem, guide her jealously.
5. Your wife is your best friend, be friendly with her.
6. Your wife is your joy, nourish her.
7. Your wife is to be cherished, be cheerful to her.
8. Your wife is your portion, cherish her.
9. Your wife is not a devil, don’t dump her.
10. Your wife is not only good for sex, carry her along in every issue.
Love Is The Greatest
11. Your wife is not your enemy, encourage her.
12. Your wife is not a family material, never commit her unto the hand of your family members.
13. Your wife is not your rival, don’t compete with her.
14. Your wife is a female gender, honor her.
15. Your wife is not common, don’t compare her.
16. Your wife is not a wash hand base, stop abusing her.
17. Your wife is a weaker vessel, handle her with care.
18. Your wife is a beautiful queen, celebrate her.
19. Your wife is not a fighter, don’t fight her.
20. Your wife is not a punching bag, don’t beat her.
21. Your wife is not a game, don’t play her.
22. Your wife need foreplay, don’t rape her.
23. Your wife is a hook, get hook to her.
24. Your wife is all you love, praise her.
25. Your wife is important, honor her.
26. Your wife is what u make her to be, accept her.
27. Your wife is your joy, pursue her.
28. Your wife needs your honor, never embarrass her in the public.
29. Your wife is not a knife, be nice to her.
30. Your wife is a distinct personality, never compare her to any work.
31. Your wife is loyal, don’t be suspicious of her.
32. Your wife is not a fool, listen to her advice.
33. Your wife is not malicious, do not keep malice with her.
34. Your wife is the best friend you can have, befriend her.
35. Your wife is not a napkin, do not misuse her.
36. Your wife is not your house girl, support her in the kitchen.
37. Your wife is passionate, do not by- pass her.
38. Your wife is very important to you, do not abandon her.
39. Your wife is a queen, do not quarrel with her.
40. Your wife is not the only owner of the sit, help her to baby sit.
41. Your wife is reasonable, do not under- rate her.
42. Your wife is your responsibility, provide for her.
43. Your wife is yourself, do not separate her bed.
44. Your wife is number one in your life, priorities her
45. Your wife is your treasure, jealously guide her.
46. Your wife need your help, help her.
47. Your wife need your full attention, do not give it to T.V set.
48. Your wife is valuable, add more value to her.
49. Your wife is your crown, do not abandon her.
50. You will account to God about your wife, handle her with care. She may be or seem fragile, but is strong.
God bless our wives, mothers& daughters.

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You don’t need anyone to understand you.
You know yourself. People can only advise you. Lol

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MTN is not joking nowadays. When you don’t have airtime or data,
they’ll deduct your battery.

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A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.

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When my crush says she loves guys who know Mathematics…
i make effort to impress :
.
Me : You’re so vertically beautiful and the horizontality of your face is the square root of my love…mh I love you simultaneously

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the biggest mistake you can make is showing your child that
your phone has games

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Early morning husband woke up and ask his wife: “Would you like to join me for jogging?”

Wife: “Ohh! So you mean to say I am fat?”

Hubby: “No. Jogging is good for health.”

Wife: “Oh . . . that means I am sick.”

Hubby: “No no. If you don’t want to get up, then it’s OK . . . ”

Wife: “So now you think I am lazy, ha?”

Hubby: “Nooo! You are misunderstanding me. I didn’t mean.”

Wife: “Aha! So I don’t understand you because I’m an illiterate, right?”

Hubby: “Now look I didn’t say that.”

Wife: “So am I lying? ”

Hubby: I beg you please don’t stretch it in the morning”

Wife: “Oh, now so I am a quarrelsome nag, abi?

HUBBY: “Ok ok . . . You go off to sleep. I am going jogging alone . . . happy now?.”

Wife: “You always go alone everywhere and enjoy yourself.”

Hubby: “Please, please. I am feeling giddy now ”

Wife: “See? You are so selfish. Always think of yourself alone. You never think of my health.”

Grrrrrr . . . Husband is sitting and thinking where he went wrong.

Dedicated to all married men . . .

Thank you for always being patient with your wives . .

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I don’t know what’s wrong with me
but every time a girl calls me “baby”
I send her airtime 😑

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On the first day of college, the principal addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.
“The female dormitory will be closed for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 for the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?”
One student raised his hand and asked, “How much for a season pass?”

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U will start seeing the value of 1k
once u stop depending on your parents or your boyfriend

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