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Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

“I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I
tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard
time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?”
His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night . whether you’re here or not.

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Am i the only boi or guy whos scared to sleep
with a boi in other bed sober the whole night…

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The Ant and the Dove:

One hot day, an ant was searching for some water. After walking around for some time, she came to a spring. To reach the spring, she had to climb up a blade of grass. While making her way up, she slipped and fell into the water.

She could have drowned if a dove up a nearby tree had not seen her. Seeing that the ant was in trouble, the dove quickly plucked a leaf and dropped it into the water near the struggling ant. The ant moved towards the leaf and climbed up onto it. Soon, the leaf drifted to dry ground, and the ant jumped out. She was safe at last.

Just at that time, a hunter nearby was about to throw his net over the dove, hoping to trap it.

Guessing what he was about to do, the ant quickly bit him on the heel. Feeling the pain, the hunter dropped his net. The dove was quick to fly away to safety.

One good turn begets another.

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The smaller your circle is, the less you gotta deal with fake people

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An African woman married a Chinese man and had a child…

Two months later the child passed away😢

At the funeral house, the African woman kept crying and saying: “I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!!..”😭

A family member pulled her aside and asked: “what did u know?”😨

She replied: “That Chinese Products don’t LAST LONG!!!”

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Below are 20 life teaching lessons. I urge
you to take just 3 minutes and ponder over
them. They are life-changing statements:
1. Take risks in your life. If you win, you can
lead; if you lose, you can guide.
2. People are not what they say but what
they do; so judge them not from their
words but from their actions.
3. When someone hurts you, don’t feel bad
because it’s a law of nature that the tree
that bears the sweetest fruits gets
maximum number of stones.
4. Take whatever you can from your life
because when life starts taking from you, it
takes even your last breath.
5. In this world, people will always throw
stones on the path of your success. It
depends on what you make from them – a
wall or a bridge.
6. Challenges make life interesting;
overcoming them make life meaningful.
7. There is no joy in victory without running
the risk of defeat.
8. A path without obstacles leads nowhere.
9. Past is a nice place to visit but certainly
not a good place to stay.
10. You can’t have a better tomorrow if you
are thinking about yesterday all the time.
11. If what you did yesterday still looks big
to you, then you haven’t done much today.
12. If you don’t build your dreams, someone
else will hire you to build theirs.
13. If you don’t climb the mountain; you
can’t view the plain.
14. Don’t leave it idle – use your brain.
15. You are not paid for having brain, you
are only rewarded for using it intelligently.
16. It is not what you don’t have that limits
you; it is what you have but don’t know
how to use.
17. What you fail to learn might teach you a
lesson.
18. The difference between a corrupt
person and an honest person is: The
corrupt person has a price while the honest
person has a value.
19. If you succeed in cheating someone,
don’t think that the person is a fool……
Realize that the person trusted you much
more than you deserved.
20. Honesty is an expensive gift; don’t
expect it from cheap people.
Have a good day

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Height of Coolness: Finishing the paper Coming out of the exam hall,
Having a cold drink And asking a friend:
Dude, which paper was it?

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Facebook Friends : 5000.
Real Friends : 20.
Hard Time Friends : 2.

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I hate people who speak big grammar
just to make you feel PERSPICACIOUS😏

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Dare to dream …❤
Make it your favorite line to make your future bright

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An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the
85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained.
“Well, doc, it’s like this–first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still nothing.”
The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbor?”
The old man replied, “Yep, none of us could get the jar open.”

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Why is it over?,I don’t get it. We can start over, and try it a new way,
even thou I feel we never started anything at all, chow sweetie.

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Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the State house, where the President lives.
The 1st from INDIA, the 2nd from CHINA & the 3rd from Zimbabwe.They go with State House official to examine the fence.
The Indian takes out a tape & did some measuring, works some figures “Well”, he says, “I figure the job will cost $9,000. ($4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my teamv& $1,000 profit for me)”.
The Chinese does some measuring & figuring, says,”I can do it for $7,000. ($3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my team & $1,000 profit for me)”.
The Zimbabwea did not even measure or figure out anything, but he walks around the State House & whispers “$27,000.” The official says, “You didn’t even measure how did you come up with such a high figure?” The Zimbabwean whispers “$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, & $7,000 to hire the Chinese to do the job.”

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When a man Open
A door of his car for his wife,
b sure of one thing either wife or car is new

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