Peter comes very drunk home late at night. He wakes his sleeping wife: “Emily wake up! You know what just happened!?”
–
“No”, she replies sleepily.
–
“I went to the toilet and the light switched on all by itself. And when I went out of there, the light switched off again without me having to do anything. I think I’m getting super powers!”
–
Emily replies groans: “Oh no, Peter! You pig, you just peed into the fridge again!!!”

Some guys be calling their girlfriends “My Queen! My Queen!!” but when the Queen asks for R50 the kingdom scatters and the king disappears.

Your phone camera is not the problem.
You’re just ugly like the rest of us. Simple.

This is not December I ordered!
Can I see your manager please!!!

“A woman went to visit a doctor with a
black eye!
.
Woman : Doc,my husband always beat me
up everytime he comes home drunk…..I love
him and i can’t get him arrested,can you
help me please!
Doctor : When he comes back home just
drink a glass of water,don’t swallow water
through.”
.
»Woman go back home and waits for her
Husband….she drinks water and doesn’t
swallow.The husband comes back home
and went straight to the Bed…
.
The following day, she visited to the Doctor
Doctor : Did you do as i adviced?”
Woman : Yes!……and it worked,he didn’t
even touch me a Bit!”
Doctor : You see what happens if you keep
your Mouth Shut!!

That embarrassing moment when you realize that
person wasn’t waving at you…😥
•°•
Eix!

The way I’m so drunk
_
_
I used a calculator to post
this…

Pls let me know if you can help – A friend of mine bought tickets to the Champions League final match .. the problem is that he completely forgot that its his wedding on the same day … coz he bought the tickets few months before fixing his wedding date …. Now he wants to know if anyone is interested in getting married….!

She made me choose between
Alcohol and her Sometimes I miss her yaz

I want to know that New Company called “Not Yet working”
it must be a good paying one because lot of people are working there

Dear group members, please decrease the brightness of your mobile phones. The group’s electricity bill has increased too much this month
Thanks for your understanding.

Welcome to Swaziland where parents remove their glasses
just to hear what u saying

I dont block people on whatsapp i just delete your number
and let my settings deal with you msoonically😊