2000s should have their own alcohol like *Purity Lager,
Nestle Draft & Nutriday Vodka..
We cant share alcohol with babies.

Money is important in A Relationship ,
Let’s Stop Lying To Each Other

Mention A Woman Who Doesn’t Love
Money
And I’ll Show You A Lion That Eat Grass

Pls let me know if you can help – A friend of mine bought tickets to the Champions League final match .. the problem is that he completely forgot that its his wedding on the same day … coz he bought the tickets few months before fixing his wedding date …. Now he wants to know if anyone is interested in getting married….!

Who else has noticed that the guy playing the Keyboard in Church does not pay offering

i havent done laundry in 6 months, one underwear last me for four days, i go front, then back and i turn it inside out then go front and back again. its called recycling

DON’T VISIT VERY RICH RELATIVES OR FRIENDS

I went to see a friend from a very rich family. The maid approached me and asked.*
MAID: What would u like to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon Tea, Indian Tea, Herbal Tea, Kericho Gold Tea, Bush Tea or Green Tea?
ME: Ceylon Tea pls.
MAID: How do U want it, black or white?
ME: White….
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would U like it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Aiyo! forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water…
MAID: Mineral, tap or distilled water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: Flavored or non flavored?
ME: Infact, get me an empty glass!
MAID: Do you want a tumbler, wine glass, champagne flute or a beer mug?
ME: Free me, I will swallow my spit…”

Daddy and Mommy are fighting in the living room, right before their little son.
Daddy : ” Oh!!! You Bitch! ”
Mommy: ” What?? You Bastard! ”
Son : ” Daddy, Mommy, what’s Bitch and Bastard?” At this moment, Daddy blushes. He quickly thinks up of something.
Daddy : ” It means Ladies and Gentlemen, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
2nd Scenario…
Little Son was watching a TV show about premarital sex, and there they mentioned the words ‘breasts’ and ‘penises’. Mommy was reading the papers.
Son : ” Mommy, what’s breasts and penises? ” At this moment, Mommy turned blue, and quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy: ” It means coats and hats, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
3rd Scenario…
Daddy was shaving his beard and Son passed by the toilet.
Suddenly, Daddy cut himself and screamed…
Daddy: ” OH SHIT!! ”
Son : ” Daddy, what’s shit? ” At this moment, Daddy’s eyes bulged, and quickly thought of something to say.
Daddy: ” It means shaving cream, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
4th Scenario…
Christmas is approaching, and Mommy was stuffing the turkey into the stove. The turkey just wouldn’t fit into the stove, so she said…
Mommy: ” Oh FUCK! ”
Son : ” Mommy, what’s fuck? ” At this moment, Mommy froze.
She quickly thought of something to say.
Mommy: ” It means stuffing, Son. ”
Son : ” Oh I see! ”
5th scenario…
It’s Christmas eve! Little Son exuberantly opened the door to let all his uncles, aunties, cousins and friends come into the house.
Proudly, he said…
Son : ” Welcome in, Bastards and Bitches! Please put all your breasts and penises at that corner of the house! My parents are busy at the moment. You see, Daddy is putting shit on his face upstairs and Mommy is fucking the turkey in the kitchen, but don’t worry, they’ll be out here in a minute!”

Today I actually killed a Mosquito
That bit me 3 year ago
.
That niggah thought I forgotten his face

Dating a slender is big problem,
Yesterday we had an argument that she ended up
sleeping on Ironing board*

When l brought girls back home to meet my
mother she didn’t like any of them,
so l picked one that resembled my Mum then my
dad didn’t like her