Some people Chew Chappies until it turns into A Bostick.

Ronnie walks into a bar, goes to the bartender and says “give me a beer before the problem starts”
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After drinking the 1st bottle, again he says to the bartender “give me another one before the problem starts”
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He give him, this goes on till the 5th bottle. The bartender then asks Ronnie “when are you going to pay for your beers?”
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Ronnie replys “eish, Now the problem starts”.

Manchester City – eyes on EPL, UEFA, FA Cup, Carabao Cup
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Chelsea – all eyes on EPL, UEFA, FA Cup
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Man United – all eyes on EPL, FA Cup, Uefa
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Liverpool – all eyes on next season

I don’t like this idea of my grandmother
getting more likes than me.

Of course you are not fat,
just grab a couple of chairs and sit down.

A house girl asked her madam to increase her salary. The madam ask her to give 3 reasons why she need her salary to be increased…

*House girl:I can cook better than u
*Madam:Who told u that?
*House girl:Ur husband told me.
*Madam: OK second reason….!
*House maid:I can iron better than u.
*Madam:Who told u that?
*House girl:Ur husband told me.
*Madam:OK,last reason.
*House girl:I’m also better than u in bed(Madam got furious, grabbed a stick to smash her head)
*Madam:Did my husband say that?
*House girl:No,the driver told me I’m better than u in bed.
*Madam:Shhhh!Lower ur voice please! I will increase ur salary immediately. You’re such a hard working girl.

A pastor announced,”If u know ur wife is controlling u,move to the left”. All men in the church moved to the left except one man.
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The pastor was happy there was at least one strong man,and asked,”How come ur wife can’t control u?”
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The man quietly replied,”Its my wife who told me not to move”.

In class: 1+1=2 (y)
Homework: 1+2+2=5 (y)
Exam:Tebogo bought 4 oranges, he ate 2 and gave peter 1,calculate the mass of the sun.

Mxm

Lebo:I love u.
Tebza:Same
Lebo:So why don’t u say it?
Tebza:Because u will smile.
Lebo:So?
Tebza:You will show ur teeth
Lebo:What’s wrong with my teeth?
Tebza:They remind me of a song.
Lebo:What song?(Blushing) Tell me.
Tebza:Black and Yellow,Black and Yellow.

Fellas,if u visit her and she puts on leggings, just know u ain’t getting past 2nd base… If the leggings are leopard print u not even gonna kiss… Head for the door quick before she gives u blue balls…

Why I stopped watching Nigerian Movies??

A man had a heart attack in the hospital & the doctor shouted…
“SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE”

Last Night i was with Trevor Noah, we were going to perform at a sell out crowd in New York. When we were about to start with the jokes…….behold…….my mother woke me up “Ronnie wake up and get ready for school”.
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I’m still not talking to her