I used to think Jackie Chan movies were fake until
I saw a Cobra in my compound. I ran,….
my leg didn’t touch the ground.

Once a wise man told me No matter how HOT she is
somewhere someone is tired of her….

My friend sold 2 kidneys..they gave him 1 million rand…

But I came up with 24 kidneys they called the police

Dear Person reading this Post
.
Stop checking your Ex photos
.
It’s Over it’s Over

Nyaa (8) Was In A bus Eating a Chocolate ,
Then He Took Another One And Then Another,
A Man Next To Him Said ” Do You…Know That
Too Much Of It Will Damage Your Teeth ”
Nyaa replied. ” My Grandfather Lived To 132 years ”
The Man Asked ” Was It Because Of Eating Chocolate ? ”
Little Nyaa Replied, ” No , he was always minding his own business”

Last night i had a dream eating delicous Steak.
When i woke up this morning,
i had a tail of a rat in my Mouth
i don’t know what happened guys

Cheating on your wife doesn’t mean that you don’t love her, it’s like hiring a taxi when you have your own car at home. It saves tyres, ensures longer lasting beauty and reduces mileage. Please send this to your wife and see what happens. *Please, let me know which hospital to come to visit you!*

Relationship stress will make you ask your parents why they are still together after all those years

The Relationship stress can damage your Health..
my Girlfriend told me it’s over while I was on my way to fetch my niece at pre-school then boom I came with a wrong child…

KINDS OF PEOPLE ON FACEBOOK:
1. THE UNHEALTHY: They always have
stomach ache, headache, back ache etc.
Facebook is not a clinic.
2. THE LIARS: Lie about their age, marital
status and use ridiculous names like Baby,
Awesome ,Angel, Dude, Miss pee, boo ,
Man, blah blah!!
3. THE WITCHES: They always like updating
about death, bad news and sickness.
4. THE TRAVELERS: Today in America,
tomorrow heading to Italy or South Africa,
next All over The country! Are you a
minister for tourism?
5. WEATHER FORECASTERS: They update
mostly when it is raining, cold or hot e.g
‘I’m freezing’ etc
6. PREACHERS: This are mostly single men/
ladies who are looking for a spouse. They
act holy and write Bible verses only on
Sundays and Fridays or on festival day.
7. THE CONFUSED: They are married today,
engaged tomorrow, next day in an open
relationship, in a complicated relationship,
single or divorced.
8. THE FIGHTERS: All they do is to seek
trouble on people’s post, they comment
awkwardly in order to start a fight.
9. THE (I Too Know): They will always
complain that u’re always online, they will
say; are you jobless? Sometimes u can’t sop
wondering what they are doing online
themselves. Seriously, man get a life and
stop face booking.
10. THE DESPERATE. They are always
posting pictures of them in different cars
claiming car owners and always updating
themselves in different hotels and
eateries…damn…are they car dealer or
Hotel room attendant?
11. THE PEACE MAKERS: These people are
very friendly and they appreciate peoples
effort, they say thank you if they read your
post and smile.
Note: These people are usually very rare to
find.
12. AND FINALLY THE HATERS: They will
never like or comment on your posts except when they have something negative to say about you or your posts. Or u put up an update which says you are “sad, heartbroken or in Pain”.
I mean they wont even Like this post..
e.g that’s a stolen post WTF, did i say i own it?

People who buy a car & don’t post it online have a PhD in maturity.
As for me i will even park it on your timeline…..
After that I will go by my ex’s house to ask for directions to my place.

Kissing your bae in public is not a problem the problem start when make it sound like a car crash