Dear: Bae 😝😘💏🔐
–
You Can’t Just Dump Me😂 I Won’t Believe You. So I Want The Following Things:
–
•3 Months Notice Before We Breakup 😉
•Police Affidavit 😊
•2 Pages Yama Reasons😍
•59 Minutes Ya Voice Note Stating Why You Dumping Me. 🔒💏
•Both Parents ID Copies
😜
•Your Parents Permission Letter 😘
• Lastly You Have To Slaughter Atleast Two Fat Cows For My Ancestors And The gods, To apologize For Hurting My Feelings 😍😜

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings several times until one of the men engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: “Hello?”
WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only R1500. Is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2012 models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “R450000”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking R950000.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 900,000.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you!”
MAN: “Bye, I love you, too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

People ask me why I give the best relationship advice but yet am still single,

So I tell them “coaches don’t play

I will heart react to your pictures
even though you got a Boyfriend,
You know why?
•°•°•
I can fight..!

After An Emotional Hug Girl Said To The Boy,

Girl: “If You Hug Me Once More Like That, I Will Be Yours Forever”

Boy: “Thanks For The Warning“

My girlfriend just texted me “Im coming by your
place,and when I get there I want you to make
me wet”
I got 5 buckets full of water….she’ll know me

When you meet her friends and
you realize you got the ugly one

I dont make enough money to go on vacation,
so I’m just going to get drunk this weekend until
I dont know where I am.

Sometimes it’s his ‘Car’
that keeps the relationship going…