Don’t just tell me what people were saying about me.
Also tell me why they were so comfortable telling you

Sometimes God will bring back your Ex
just to check if you are still stupid

Wonder why the word funeral starts with FUN?

-Why isn’t a Fireman called a Water-man?

– How come Lipstick doesn’t do what it says?

– If money doesn’t grow on trees, how come Banks have Branches?

– If a Vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a Humanitarian eat?

– How do you get off a non-stop Flight?

– Why are goods sent by ship called CARGO and those sent by truck SHIPMENT?

– Why do we put cups in the dishwasher and the dishes in the Cupboard?

– Why do doctors ‘practice’ medicine? Are they having practice at the cost of the patients?

– Why is it called ‘Rush Hour’ when traffic moves at its slowest then?

– How come Noses run and Feet smell?

– Why do they call it a TV ‘set’ when there is only one?

– What are you vacating when you go on a vacation?

Stop this thing of asking people to get Married because their age mates are married. Even you, some of your age mates have died but nobody has asked you to die..

A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitation went to him and said
” you look so cute and sexxy.. I like you.”….
The man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulder and said
“My dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing. You are too young to be behaving like this. Pls go home and study hard so that you can have a successful life.”..
He then placed a piece of paper on her hand and said ” I have written some words of wisdom and religious verses for you. Read them before you go to sleep.”
And then he walked away.
The girl went back to her hostel in shame and guilt..before she slept she opened up the paper and read thus:
“Are you blind? My wife was standing behind me. Any way, this is my number. Call me anytime. ………..
By the way, I like you too!”
😅😅😅😅

A blonde was so upset about everyone always making fun of her being blonde that she decided to hang herself. A little while later, a couple of guys walk by and see her hanging by her wrists. “What are you doing?” They ask her. “I’m hanging myself.” She said. The men were confused. Then one of them said, “If you’re trying to hang yourself, you’re supposed to put the rope around your neck.“Duh,” she said. “I tried that, but I couldn’t breath.”

2 Hours In A Relationship You Already Need R500 Urgently.
Is That A Registration Fee?✋

Don’t Let Nobody.. I Mean Nobody Tell You, You Ugly.😕
You Probably are👊, But Just Don’t Let Nobody Tell You..”

2 tips for happy married life….._

– *Keep quiet when your Wife is talking.*
– *Don’t talk when your Wife is quiet.*

– _Husband Association._

In 2019 😁
.
On the funeral program there must be the one
who will speak for those who were warning him

To Get Rich in Mzansi, You Need To Go To School, Get A Degree, Then Put Them ASIDE And HUSTLE Like A DROPOUT

Women Who Can’t Cook Can Be So Dramatic,
You’ll Find Her Wearing An Apron Just To Boil water.“`
😂😂😂😂

Love you all👍

*STUDENT OBTAINED 0% IN AN EXAM!*

I WOULD HAVE GIVEN HIM 100%! EACH ANSWER IS ABSOLUTELY GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT AND FUNNY TOO. THE TEACHER HAS NO SENSE OF HUMOR.

*Q1: IN WHICH BATTLE DID NAPOLEON DIE?*

“`HIS LAST BATTLE.“`

*Q2: WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE SIGNED?*

“`AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE.“`

*Q3: RIVER RAVI FLOWS IN WHICH STATE?*

“`LIQUID.“`

*Q4: WHAT IS THE MAIN REASON FOR DIVORCE?*

“`MARRIAGE.“`

*Q5: WHAT IS THE MAIN REASON FOR FAILURE?*

“`EXAMS.“`

*Q6: WHAT CAN YOU NEVER EAT FOR BREAKFAST?*

“`LUNCH & DINNER.“`

*Q7: WHAT LOOKS LIKE HALF AN APPLE?*

“`THE OTHER HALF.“`

*Q8: IF YOU THROW A RED STONE INTO THE BLUE SEA WHAT WILL IT BECOME?*

“`WET.“`

*Q9: HOW CAN A MAN GO EIGHT DAYS WITHOUT SLEEPING?*

“`NO PROBLEM, HE SLEEPS AT NIGHT.“`

*Q10: HOW CAN YOU LIFT AN ELEPHANT WITH ONE HAND?*

“`YOU WILL NEVER FIND AN ELEPHANT THAT HAS ONE HAND“`

*Q11: IF YOU HAD THREE APPLES AND FOUR ORANGES IN ONE HAND AND FOUR APPLES AND THREE ORANGES IN OTHER HAND, WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE?*

“`VERY LARGE HANDS“`

*Q12: IF IT TOOK EIGHT MEN TEN HOURS TO BUILD A WALL, HOW LONG WOULD IT TAKE FOUR MEN TO BUILD IT?*

“`NO TIME AT ALL, THE WALL IS ALREADY BUILT“`

*Q13: HOW CAN YOU DROP A RAW EGG ONTO A CONCRETE FLOOR WITHOUT CRACKING IT?*

“`ANY WAY YOU WANT, CONCRETE FLOORS ARE VERY HARD TO CRACK.“`

*Spread some laughter, share the cheer. Let’s be happy, while we’re here!

Its February right?
Ladies please dont confuse
Women’s day with valentines day
.
Not all of you gonna get presents
On the 14th.