I dreamed eating noodles,
Now my earphones are gone 😪
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Ladies Please Repeat After Me;
“My Boyfriend’s Money, Is My Money Too!!!”
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There are 3 kinds of people :
Those who make things happen.
Those who watch things happen.
Those who wonder what the hell happened.
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Remember growing up saying “I want to
be a pilot”.
20 years later the only thing you do related
to airplanes is FLIGHT MODE on your phone.
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Your boyfriend is out there telling his Side Chick that
he can’t break up with you coz you’ll kill yourself.
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At the creche where I work, there is a little girl named Vicky. She is so cute and sweet.👼
Yesterday, just before knocking off, I found her busy, trying to put on her shoes.👢
I approached her, and offered to help her. It was such a torrid time. The boots seamed to be smaller than her size. It took me 5 minutes to help her wear them. When we were done, after making a steps away from her, she called me said “Teacher, you made me wear banana”. 🍌 When I looked at her shoes, to my embarrassment, I realised I had misplaced her shoes – the banana style.😱
Upon trying to take off the shoes again, it took me 3 minutes. After struggling so much I eventually managed to remove them and tried putting them on again, this time the correct way. However, it was more difficult than the first time.
When I finished, she said: “Teacher, these shoes are not mine!”
I really got angry, but since I work with little kids, I had to be patient and control my anger. I struggled to remove the shoes. I then asked Vicky where her own shoes were and this is what she said:
“These shoes belong to my sister, my mum is the one who made me wear them in the morning today”.
This time I boiled in anger. But since I always do my job perfectly and whole heartedly, I helped her to put on the shoes again. When we were done, Vicky pulled another shocker, yet again. “What about the socks, teacher?” she asked.
I wondered whether I should laugh or cry.😡
Politely and swiftly I asked her, “Where are the socks Vicky?”
She innocently replied: “I shoved them in my shoes, they are in front of my toes”
I simply resigned!
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Dating a girl with a big head is not a problem,
the problem comes when she wants to
sleep on your chest with that tombstone.
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Once Nasrudin woke up at the midnight by scream and quarrel from the next door. He put his blanket on his shoulder and went out. When he returned without the blanket; his wife said,, “what was the mater?” ” The quarrel was about my blanket only they took it and dispute ended!!”
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A: Why are you late? B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: Thats nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.
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XHOSA Ladies Lack Patience 😒 ,
You’ll Date Her For 10Years And She’ll Suddenly
Start Bringing Up Stories About Marriage 😡 ..
Why Do Y’all Rush ? 😏
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I saw 2 cockroaches having sex. i wanted to spray RAID and i thought twice again. Maybe he has been chasing her for years and she has been eating all his money without allowing him to get down there, i’m human i have a good heart so i let him enjoy….. but as i was about to go i had a second thought….. what if he was raping her? or wha if he was having sex with someone’s wife, I sprayed it.
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Ghost 1: Hi
Ghost 2: Hey
Ghost 1: How did you die?
Ghost 2: I was mistakenly locked up in the frigerator. At first, I was chilling, then, it started freezing, and then, i couldn’t breathe again… I died of suffocation.
Ghost 1: Wow…. what a sad way to die.
Ghost 2: Yeah. How did u die?
Ghost 1: I died of heart attack.
Ghost 2: What happened?
Ghost 1: My wife cheated on me. I came back home and saw a man’s pair of shoes, then, I rushed to the bedroom and met only my wife there. She was naked. I knew there was a man in the house cos my neighbour told me. and the man was still in the house as my wife was undressed and scared. so, I started running and searching the whole house. I searched in the kid’s room, kitchen, toilet, bathroom, wardrobe and dinning, I couldn’t find him and I was very tired of running, so I got a heart attack.
Ghost 2: IDIOT!!!! If you had checked the refrigerator we would have been both alive by now!!!
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Japanese scientists have created a Camera
with such an immensely fast shutter-speed,
that it is now possible to take a photograph of a
woman with her mouth shut.
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I invited her to my room now
she’s killing my cockroaches
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Being Held At A Gunpoint And I’m Told To Spell The Word “Wednesday” , I’d Probably Die
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If you cheated on her and she dumps you then
after few month you ask for love back and
she agrees, just know she’s gonna pay revenge..
it’s her turn now my nigga.
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