How did santa tried 2 kill a bird?
.
He took it 2 d top of a buildng & dropped it!
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I knew weed was not meant for me the
day I wrote a letter to God and spent 3 hours
straight trying to throw it to Him in the sky.
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*If you hear what people say right before they
pick your call and or immediately they end the call…*
*You would stop the friendship*
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Tell a Lady: “I had a dream about you”
They always think it’s about s*x
~•~
And be like: “Girl, I was buying bread in SHOPRITE and you were the cashier”
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Are you happy with your voice when
you hear it from the voice note?
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Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as EPL 5.0, IPL 3.0, and PSL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
Please enter the command “! http: I Thought You Loved Me.html” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
But remember,overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend! Food 3.0 and HotLingerie 7.7.
Good Luck, Tech Support
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Our Father😍
Who art in Valentine’s day💑🌸❤️
Hallow be thy dates💖💐
Thy Gifts and Kisses🌷🌼😘😍
Thy will be handed out💯❤️✅
As we watch pure sadness✋😚💔
Give us the luck💋💖💓👀☝️
Find the date’s before 14th👫💑😍
And forgive us for rejecting other kids🤗😇🤔
As we forgive those who shapa us with Stena💔💯🙅
Lead us not into single world✋🏃🛑❌
Deliver us from cheating💔💮💯😍✋🏃
For thy is the reason🙅🏃✋🙄🤔💛
Wr stay single forever and ever AMEN❤️💖👀💝
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A Little Boy Was Doing His Maths Homework, Saying To Himself,
“2+5 The Son Of Bitch Is 7, 3+6 The Son Of Bitch Is 9.”
His Mother Heard This & Gasped: “What Are You Doing?”
The Little Boy Answered: “I’m Doing My Math’s Homework Mom”
Mom: “And This Is How Your Teacher Taught You To Do It?”
Little Boy: “Yes”
Infuriated, The Mother Asked The Teacher Next Day,
Mother: “Are You Teaching Maths To Children By Saying 2+2, The Son Of Bitch Is 4?”
The Teacher Started Laughing, And Answered: “What I Taught Them Was, 2+2 The Sum Of Which Is 4“
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One day a woman got pregnant for 9 months
and gave birth to this idiot
who’s going to skip this post
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Just say these four words fast without stuttering
–
“Eye, Yam, Stew, Peed”.
–
hehe, you just called youself stupid.
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Yesterday i saw my Ex wearing face cap,
imagine something she has not done before when we were dating,
I wonder who she is ashamed of!
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Being single and sleeping on a double bed is
disrespecting married people.
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Why Should i Applaud A White Man For Speaking An African Language ? 😒
I’ve Been Speaking English For As Long As I’ve Been Alive 😏 ,
Where is My Applause ?
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When things go wrong…
When sadness fills up your heart…
When tears roll down your eyes…
Please inform me…
Because my friend sells tissues –
BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE!
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Why boys walk fast and girl speak more?
Because boys have one extra leg and girls
have one extra mouth.
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*Mum: Who is the* *president of USA*?
*Son: I don’t know!*
*Mum: (slaps son) It’s* *Donald Trump, you idiot*. *Next time, concentrate on your studies!*
*After some time.*
*Son: Mum, who is Aunty Jemila?*
*Mum: I don’t know!*
*Son: I wish l can slap* *you. Aunty Jemila is* *Daddy’s girlfriend! Next time, concentrate on your marriage and leave* *American matters alone*
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