Rules for my Girl
,
*Carry at least R100 whenever you come to
visit me
.
*Come with some food, you know I’m broke
.
*Steal your parents money and give it to me
.
*Whenever we make love you must thank
me with at least a pack of cigarettes
.
*I love a woman more if she buys me
cigarettes
.
*Please call me at least 5 times a day
.
*Send me a good morning, good day and
goodnight message everyday
.
*I don’t come to your place, you must
always come to my place
.
*You must let me fuck your friend, if you
don’t want me to cheat.
.
*We don’t go out, unless you willing to pay.
I’m broke mos.
.
*Don’t come when you on your
periods,unless you don’t mind me crossing
the robot.
.
*Buy me clothes please, at least after each
and every 3 months
.
*I hate women who eat more than me
.
*When I’m moody, kindly give me money or
good sex
.
*When I’m sad, kindly buy me a beer
.
*Read my mind, you need to study my mind,
you need to know when I’m hungry
.
*Lastly please buy me airtime, every Friday
,
Oh! And at least have a side nigga who’ll
give you money so that you can give it to
me.

A man dies. In heaven he sees a large Wall full of Clocks. He asks angel: “What are these for?” Angel answers: “These are Lie Clocks, every person has a lie clock! Whenever u lie on earth, clock moves.” The man points towards a clock and asks: Whose clock is this? … Angel says: its Mother Teresa’s. It never moved, showing that she never told lie. The man asks: “Where are the clocks of our Zimbabwean girls?” The angel replies: Those are in our office, We use them as *OFFICE FANS*

When you ignore Bae for one day… And you call her the next day and find out that she already had six miscarriages, three abortions and dumped five Boyfriend’s .!!!

Having an “Ex” as your friend is like using a sugarcane as a walking stick.
Once you feel thirsty you will eventually chew it my friend.

People who are online without the Green Dot are
More dangerous than Electricity

Leave that abusive relationship before you become a motivational speaker…

I grow up know paper and silver money,
as for hair and nails money I didn’t know it

TEACHER: Rainbow come take your paper you
got 13%..
.
CLASS: *laughs*
.
TEACHER: He’s the highest
.
CLASS: *silence*

Some breakups can make you steal your mother’s phone
and text your Bae

“Makoto, Why are you doing this to my child?

*TODAY I DECIDED TO CAUSE TROUBLE!!!*
I went to a RESTAURANT and couldnt get a table. After seeing every table being occupied by couples, I took out my phone and made a very loud phone call, saying,
“My friend, your wife is here with another man just come and see”
Nine women DISAPPEARED!!!! And I got a table