Skebhe’s wife : honey! you boss is here, You better hide

Skebhe : no baby! you hide . I called and told him the reason I didn’t come to work , you are dead

Have you ever dated someone on social media and
ended up breaking up without meeting

Facebook should just Introduce Voice Notes,
We are Losing Some Arguments because we can’t Spell Some Words..!

After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you
Husband: What’s up?
Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid
Husband: Well you don’t remember, do you??
When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped.
Then you said:
– Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.
So I went inside, got a clean one and left the dirty one there.
Moral: Never give a man a job that doesn’t belong to him.

Stop asking girls if they’re single.
Just join the queue and the winner will be announced later

when I see two kids Fighting I stop them and
slap the Ugly one!

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.”

The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?”

The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.”

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day the grandmother died.

“Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: “God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically went into shock.

He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?”

He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said, “You think you had a bad day? You’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning the mailman dropped dead on our porch!”

American guy’s wallet:
Dollar bills, ID card and ATM Cards

Zimbabwean guy’s wallet:
3 Condoms, Expired ATM Cards, Voters’ Card, National ID, Shoprite Receipts, Toothpicks, Old kwacha currency etc…

American Lady’s handbag:
Money, Chocolate, ATM card , Apartment keys.

Zimbabwean Lady’s handbag:
Comb, dress, makeup kit, mirror, small pin charger, roll of toilet paper, coins, wrapper , and a Mosquito net.

True or False?

Am I the only one who used to think that when there’s lightning
God is taking us pictures

Brown bread is healthier than white bread, brown sugar is healthier than white sugar, should I tell yellow bones or you’ll tell them

Have you noticed that Girls have “Three Voices”:
•°•
ONE☝, Is used when answering calls📱.
◽
TWO✌, The other one at home 🏡 when
she is talking to her siblings👪 (Her Original Voice) ®
◽
THREE👌, Is used when she’s talking to her “Bae”

Stop this thing of asking people to get Married because their age mates are married. Even you, some of your age mates have died but nobody has asked you to die..