Can we meet?
If they have not ask you this question in Facebook,
my sister your ugliness is beyond makeup
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Waiter: What’s your order sir?
Me: 1 kadhai paneer and 3 butter naan.
Waiter: and what do you like in desert sir?
Me: I like camel ride.
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Break ups must be the worst in China,
you’ll see her face everywhere😞
Oh I miss Kam Yung Hoe
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A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says “Hey! what are you doing?” The monkey says “Smoking a joint, come up and join me”
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is ‘dry’, and that he’s going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the stoned lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, “What’s the matter with you?!” The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with the monkey and his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint.
He looks up and says “Hey, MONKEY!”
The Monkey looks down and says “FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. How much water did you drink ?
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Black women get away with murder because
hair collected at the crime scene will lead
detectives to some chic in Brazil or India!!!
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Our kids are in trouble 😳😳😳… Nigerian volunteer teachers coming
How Nigerians pronounce English words:
1. Diz hwan – This one
2. Ozzband – Husband
3. Gugu – Google
4. Broader – brother
5. Con son- concern
6. Save johnny – safe journey
7. Order shy knees – other Chinese
8. Lukatit – look at it
9. More door – mother
Lastly…….most hilarious!!!!
10. Salt of free car – South Africa!!!!
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Daughter: Daddy can I go to my friend place to do my homework?
Dad: sit down.. Your Mom use to say the same thing when she want to come to me!!
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Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance
Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy
Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair
Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage
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After 10 years, the wife starts to think their kid looks kinda strange so she decides to do a DNA test.
She finds out that the kid is actually from completely different parents.
Wife: Honey, I have something very serious to tell you
Husband: What’s up?
Wife: According to DNA test results, this is not our kid
Husband: Well you dont’t remember, do you??
When we were leaving the hospital, we noticed that our baby had pooped.
Then you said:
– Please go change the baby, I’ll wait for you here.
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Sometimes I just look at birds and wonder
If I could fly who will I shit on
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A woman who hide her phone from her husband is a cheat. The man who hide his phone from his wife is trying to protect the relationship.
Please do not argue with me, I am not feeling well
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If Facebook gets banned today
You will see some girls with their pictures
in their hands asking people,
“do you like my pics?”
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Nowadays going to toilet without your Cellphone,is like
going to War without a Weapon…
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People who have positions in church think
they’re God’s biological kids and
the rest of us are adopted.
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We have smartphones
We have smart cars
We have smart building
When we have smart people ?
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Being Single is So Nice 💯% ..
i Haven’t Bathed For 7 Days
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