I think, I’m going to lose my drivers
license…
and all just because of a stupid
police officer…
The conversation went like this,
when I got pulled over in my car:
Officer: “License and registration,
please, I think you are drunk!”
Me: “I assure you, I did not drink
anything.”
Officer: “Ok, let’s do a little test!
Imagine driving in the dark on a
highway at night, when you see two
lights in the distance. What is this?”
Me: “A car.”
Officer:”Of course! But which one? A
Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?”
Me:”I have no idea!”
Officer:”So, you’re drunk.”
Me:”But I didn’t drink anything.”
Officer:”Okay, one more test —
Imagine, you drive in the dark on a
highway at night, and there is one
light coming at you.What is it?
Me:”A motorcycle.”
Officer:”Of course! But which one? A
Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?”
Me:”I have no idea!”
Officer:”As I suspected, you’re drunk!”
Then I started to get annoyed and
asked a counter question.
Me:”So…, counter question — You’re
driving in the dark on a highway at
night and see a woman on the
roadside. She wears a mini skirt,
fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes
and only a bra as a top. What is this?”
Officer:”A prostitute of course.”
Me:”Yes, but which one? Your
daughter, your wife or your mother?”
Things went downhill from there and
now I have a court date to attend…

To all taxi owners out there as from next year please provide us with
calculators in the front seat we’re tired of using our fingers

I survived 9 months in my
mom’s womb without
bathing ,so what’s June & July?

Not being born into a rich family was my first financial mistake.
Its been downhill since.

*My neighbour called the police because I was smoking weed in my backyard.* *The police got here and asked where the weed was, I said I smoked it all.* *They said where did you buy it, I said from my neighbour…* *now they’re at his house*
*Learn To Mind Your Own Business!!!*

If she cheats on you just go nd buy a Diamond ring nd set a Romantic dinner then kneel down and ask her “Do you think Lerato will like this Ring?” Avele anye

Some People Will Never Like Your Picture
Even if You Took it With Jesus

Women don’t communicate the problem.
They expect men to figure what the problem is and get mad when they don’t..!

Birthdays are good for your health
Studies show people who have more brithdays tend to live longer..

Police Dog passing by your House seeing
your Dog chilling at Home n be like “Check
that unemployment Dude Mahlalela”

Top 10 Female rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a brother.
Translation: You give me the creeps.😅

2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: I may as well be dating my dad.😁

3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: I don’t want to be seen in
public with a dork like you.😋

4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: I’m busy seeing other guys.
Who are you again?🤗

5. I’ve got a boyfriend.
Translation: I’d rather be with my male cat
and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s.😊

6. I don’t date men where I work.
Translation: I wouldn’t date you if you were
in the same solar system, much less the
same building.😊

7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: It’s you.😂

8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: Even something as boring and
unfulfilling as my job
is better than dating you.🤗

9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: I’ve sworn off men like you.😊

10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: I want you to stay around so I
can tell you in
excruciating detail about all the other men I
meet and go out with. I appreciate the male
perspective.😊
–
–
–
Top 10 Male rejection lines.
.
.
1. I think of you as a sister.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

2. There’s a slight difference in our ages.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

3. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
Translation: You’re ugly.😅

4. My life is too complicated right now.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

5. I’ve got a girlfriend.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

6. I don’t date women where I work.
Translation: You’re ugly.😅

7. It’s not you, it’s me.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

8. I’m concentrating on my career.
Translation: You’re ugly.😁

9. I’m saved, so my heart belongs to God.
Translation: You’re ugly.😂

10. Let’s be friends.
Translation: You’re totally ugly.😅