There was this couple that had been married for 20 years😷
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Everytime they made love the husband [Rich] always insisted on turning off the light🔦
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Well after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figure she would break him out of this crazy idea😯
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So one night while they were still in the section she turned on the light🙊🙉😨🔦
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She looked own amd saw that Rich was holding a battery-operated pleasure device, A VIBRATOR!!! Soft, Wonderful and large. She went completely ballistic!!!😠
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The wife with extreme anger said ” you impotent pig, how could u be lying to me after all these years!! You better explain yourself”😠
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Rich looked at her straight in the eyes and said calmly: “I’ll Explain the toy, you explain the kids”

Why boys walk fast and girl speak more?
Because boys have one extra leg and girls
have one extra mouth.

A friend said to me “I really want to go to medical school, but it takes at least seven years–and I’ll be 50 in seven years!”
I said “And how old will you be in 7 years if you don’t go?”🤷🏿
It’s never too late to start chasing your dreams.

As African we are slowly losing our culture.
I just saw someone eating rice and chicken but it’s not yet Christmas

Just when you have thought you have seen them all. 😂 😂 😂
.
Then you see your boyfriend wearing a lace material Bvd.

When your girlfriend say ” I’m out with my friends” and you ask her which ones? And she says “You don’t know them” 🙁
.
My brother you better be prepared, you might as well start processing the break-up papers. She’s cheating sham

Two old couples got together to reminiscent about the old times and laugh about life. One of the gentlemen, Harold, started raving about this great restaurant he and his wife visited not too long ago. “Really?” The other old man asked. “What was the name of this place?” Harold thought for a second before asking, “what do you call those flowers that smell really good?”

“Which ones?” The other guy asked. “Daisy?”

“No, that’s not it.” “Tulip?”

“No, that doesn’t sound right either.” “Rose?”

“Yes!” Harold snapped his fingers. “That’s it!” Harold turns to his wife and asked, “Hey, Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to the other day?”

No matter how comfortable you are…
Never ever and ever go to your boyfriend’s place
unannounced please..!

Bae this, Bae that ,Bae here, Bae there
the day you’ll be dumped please
call a Press conference we deserve to know. .

The farmer decided to change the old cock and bring in a young one that would take care of the many hens.
When the young cock arrived, and upon realising that he would lose his job and maybe end up a dinner, the old cock
approached the young one and said: “Look, I know I’m old and that’s the reason why our owner brought you here.

But can you leave two hens for me?”

“What’s that old cock! I’m going to keep all of them,” said the young one.
“Just two,” insisted the old cock.
“I’ve told you. They’re all mine!” replied the young cock.
“Alright then! Let’s do this,” says the old cock. “We bet on a race around the poultry house. If I win, I’ll keep two
hens. If I lose, all hens are yours.”
The young cock sizes up the old one and thinks that an old and ailing bird cannot win.
“Ok old cock, I agree,” he says.
The old cock looks at him and says: “Since my chances of winning are very small, let me have 5 metres advantage,” he asked.
The young cock does not even think twice about the request and agrees to the old cock’s conditions. The race starts and the young
cock shoots in chase of the old one. The old cock makes a tremendous effort to keep advantage, but is quickly losing ground.
The farmer sees the scene and takes his pellet-gun and shoots at the young cock. After killing him, he turns and says to his wife:
“I don’t understand! This is the fifth gay cock we bought this week. These gay birds have stopped chasing the hens and are now chasing an old
cock, can you believe it?”

*Nothing beats experience*

I tried all my best to convince this girl on facebook to visit me but she always told me that she was very busy. Her profile pictures were always tempting me and everything she did on social media was very good to me that i decided to take it to another level at my own experience …Hope you know what i mean. So at last i managed to take her number and i called her immediately to confirm if it was really her. We talked for a long time and later i discovered that she was living not far from my place. I then said to myself, “this is my opportunity which i have never had and never shall i have in future”. She promised me that she will visit me the following week Thursday. But that Thursday was too far to me. Thursday finally came, i called her around 7:30 just to confirm if she was indeed coming to my place. After she had confirmed that she was coming, i started putting everything inorder.I bought expensive perfumes, expensive food and 8 condoms. Around 9pm she knocked on my door. She was looking sooo sexy . . . I was more than happy after i saw how she was looking and ……….. My dear brothers and Sisters, see how you are serious reading this story. . ……. . I wish you can learn how to read your Bible like this….. . I bet ,God will like it and be happy other than reading a lot of stories which won’t help you. If it were a biblical message, you’d have stopped immediately. God bless you

Cristiano left Real Madrid and you think
your boyfriend wouldn’t leave you