A man wakes up with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean.
So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. ‘Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!’

Totally shocked with the note, he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is already at the table, eating. He asks, ‘Son, what happened last night?’

His son says, ‘Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door’. Confused, the man asks, ‘So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!’

His son replies, ‘Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, ‘LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I’M MARRIED!’

*Moral*
Saying the right thing while drunk – *PRICELESS*

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Can someone take me to Campus Crush I just wanna reject you in public please.

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Did YOU know… English was invented in ENGLAND…Improved in AMERICA…Perfected in ZIMBABWE…Misunderstood in SOUTH AFRICA & murdered in NIGERIA

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Have you ever been hurt
by your side chick and feel like
telling your wife??

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No matter how comfortable you are…
Never ever and ever go to your boyfriend’s place
unannounced please..!

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A MARRIED COUPLE IN THEIR
BEDROOm THE WIFE IS BUSY
SINGING.
Husband: You know my wife
when
you sing like that I just wish you
were on radio.
Wife: (smiling): wow Love . Am I
that good?
Husband: No, at least on a
radio I
can change the station…..

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A pilot was told to transfer mad people from Naija to U. S. A . he agreed and carried dem in his plane.
Every place was so noisy.
Later one of the mad men approached the pilot and said; “pls can u teach me how to fly the aeroplane”?”
The pilot replied, “I will teach you how to fly if you will tell your friends to stop making noise.” (knowing that he can’t do it).
The mad man went in, after some minutes, every where was silent as if an angel entered the plane.
After some minutes the mad man came back and told the pilot that everywhere was cool now.
The pilot became happy and asked; “What did you do to them that made them to keep calm?”
The mad man replied, “I opened the door for them to go and play outside.”

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Men who give their women ATM CARDS and PIN have a special corner in heaven with airconditioner and free Wi-fi access

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Q : what you will do if you lazy and
someone tell you to go to the market?
A : i will visit the online market

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Him:👨 babe is it true that you failed English?

Her:👩 who telled you them?

Him👨 okay babe never mind

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2018 was very difficult for all of us,
even Dj Maphorisa nearly changed his name to Dj Masecurity….

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Black people would withdraw money at
ATM after then count the money…..

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When a girl doesn’t like you,
Guy : can I see you next week Friday?
Girl : no, I will be having headaches that day

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Every school has that one teacher who
knows how to control the students more
than the Principal

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l went for a walk at the botanical gardens today…and l saw a nice cute couple chilling under a tree ,sometime later they were doing something on the tree then they left…since l love things l went to the tree just to see,they had carved their names and put it in a heart…
Some people would find this romantic but l stood there actually shocked.
.
.
.
.
.
People are busy carrying knives on dates……….Scary!!!!

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The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing

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