You don’t know happiness until
your mother is in charge of food
and drinks at a ceremony
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Phone rings☎*:
*GIRL:* Hello
*GUY:* My L♡ve how are you doing?
*GIRL:* Am fine.
*GUY:* Will you be free during the weekend, & can you come to my house🏠?
*GIRL:* Am sorry I cant make it because I will be attending my Aunty’s wedding👰and the next
day I’ll be busy, I’m so occupied.
*GUY:* Ooh ok, I was just planning to take you out for shopping, suprise you with an iPhone📱 7 (256 GB jetblack) then buy you the dress👗, louboutin shoes👠👠you’ve been asking for…
*GIRL:* I will be coming & I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my L♡ve.
*GUY:* What about the
wedding👨👰?
*GIRL:* Which wedding, I was only joking.
*GUY:* Me too!
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Whites : yoh! That guy, He’s very Tall
.
Blacks ; Lol look at your Brother over there
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Many Guys are single because they refused to reply that simple text:
“Please can you do me a favor”
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I remember way back when we used to remove our hats and greet our elders, now days we just remove one earphone to say ‘Hi’
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5 ways for man to be completely happy.
1. Be with a woman who makes you laugh
2. Be with a woman who gives you her time
3. Be with a woman who takes care of you
4. Be with a woman who really loves you
5. Finally, make sure these four women don’t know each other!
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Toilet= 1 Minute
Toilet + Phone= 10 Minutes
Toilet + Phone + Wifi= 1hour
Toilet + Phone + Wifi + Charger= All Day
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Can I Take Your pictures ?? I love To Collect Photos Of Natural Disaster
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I passed by an atm and saw the guy who owes me R1600 in the queue and then when he saw me approach him he was like is this the taxi rank asking people around him
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If u slap me on my right cheek,I’ll turn my left cheek 4 u 2 slap too
Then we’ll sit down as adults&discuss how u want ur funeral
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During a company’s annual family trip to a crocodile farm in Thailand… the eccentric Boss dared any of his employees to jump into the crocodiles infested pond… and swim to the shore. Anyone who survived the swim will be rewarded with 5 million… but if killed by the crocs…2 million will be given to the next of kin. For a long period of time no one dared take up the challenge… then suddenly a man jumped in…and swam frantically for his life towards shore pursued by the crocs..and luckily he made it unscathed. When he managed to recover his breath.. the man, who became instant millionaire, shouted asking who pushed him into the pond….. it was his wife who did it.!!! And from that day…that was how the phrase… “Behind every successful man…there’s a woman”…came about !!!
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Little Sam (on phone): My son is having high fever and he won’t be able to come to school today.
Teacher: Who is this?
Little Sam: This is my father speaking!
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The Guy Is On His Final Question For 5 Crore On KBC, And Has One Lifeline Left ‘Phone A Friend’
The Question Was-
“Which Bird Does Not Make A Nest?”
1 Sparrow
2 Swallow
3 Blackbird
4 Cuckoo
The Guy Is Not Sure, So He Calls His Girlfriend.
She Answers, “Stupid, It’s Obviously A Cuckoo, 100%”
And The Guy Wins.
Later The Guy Calls His Girlfriend, “How The Hell Did You Know That, Honey? I Must Say You’ve Got More Brains Than I Credit You For!”
And The Sweet Thing Replies: “Well, You Idiot, A Cuckoo Lives In A Clock Na!”
“The Guy Is Still In Coma”
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When You See Your Classmate Using A Protractor And Calculator in Exam Room But Your Answer is Nelson Mandela in Robben Island
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I hate it when people say morning instead of good morning, morning what? Morning glory, morning after pill morning sickness…what ?
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JOKE OF THE DAY
*There are five friends named*
*Somebody*, *nobody,* *mad, stupid and fool*
*Somebody and nobody were fighting*
*Somebody killed nobody*
*Mad quickly called the police*
*Mad: Hello sir*
*Police: can we help you*
*Mad: yes somebody just killed nobody*
*Police: are u stupid!!*
*Mad: no, stupid is in the bathroom bathing*
*Police: are u mad!!!*
*Mad: yes am mad*
*Police: you must be a fool!!!*
*Mad: no, fool is the one reading this message*
😳
😜 😜
😀😀😀 *Am sorry but I was also a victim…. and I can’t be a fool alone*
*Share…. to have more fools*
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