If You Select seSotho On The
ATM Your Money Comes Coverd
In Blankets

When you close the door to kill a snake and
the electricity goes off my brother thats
when you wll know that nobody can stop reggae. ..
you will keep jumping like a rasta man.

Before: they said to be robbed of you, just not being burned out…
Now: you have a fire.. you are still stealing.
…
Before: when burned, it will help with the fire.
Now: Let’s visit a fire video.
..
Before: Children, go into the house, there are some Japanese!
Today: Children, get undressed, there are some Japanese!
..
Noon: Pray before meals.
Today: selfie before meals.
..
Before: when flooding lumilikas
Now: when flooding, picture picture post on Facebook plus instagram.
..
Before: many men are so handsome
Today: many handsome men are so handsome
..
Before: a lot of gentle girls
Today: there are many gentle men amputik!!!
..
Before: if it’s nice to court you right away.
Now: if you look good at first, maybe gay,
..
Before: if handsome, womanizer
Now: even a ugly womanizer, sometimes it is still choosy! Shameless face!
..
Before: wait for the moon before getting married!
Now: wait wait for the stomach before marriage.
..
Before… not all women beautiful
Today… not all beautiful girls
..
The courtship before and now
Before: separated wood, water water, climbing wild
Now: Find, talk, deal
..
It was still a trend to serenade..
Now sit, story and pagkatayo, you!
..
Before: if you’re not in the group, you’re caught in the topic
Now: if you’re not in the group, you are the topic

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,”he observed. To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.” He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand andwhispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.”

Yesterday I decided to use this shortcut
that passes through cemetery. Two ladies
ran towards me telling me how scared
they were walking alone so they join me. I
told them “even me I use to fear when I
was alive”. I can’t tell you their speeds limit

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

“Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”

He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

“Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very closely:

“Are – my – test – results – back?”

Teacher: class choose between money and brain
Themba: I’d go for money
Teacher: I’d go for brain
Themba: well, everybody goes for what he doesn’t have

*STRICTLY FOR MEN ONLY*

1. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
~By Lee Majors

2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
~By Al Gore

3. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
~By Socrates

4. Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them.
~By Mike Tyson

5. The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
~By George Clooney

6. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
~By Bill Clinton

7. “Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.”
~By George W. Bush

8. “I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
~By Rudy Giuliani

9. “There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
~By Michael Jordan

10. “I’ve had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.” The third gave me more children!
~By Donald Trump

11. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
~By Shaquille O’Neal

12. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
~By Kobe Bryant

13. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
~By David Hasselhoff

14. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
~By Alec Baldwin

15. A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
~By Barack Obama

16. Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
~By Tommy Lee

17. A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
~By Brad Pitt

18. First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy : “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
~ By Jimmy Kimmel

19. “Honey, what happened to ‘ladies first’?” Husband replies, “That’s the reason why the world’s a mess today, because a lady went first!”
~By David Letterman

20. “First there’s the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring…soon after….comes SuffeRing!
~By Jay Leno

21. “The reason why wives live longer is because they don’t have a Wife”
~By Brandon Breezy

Forward this to all the guys to give them a good laugh …….and to the ladies with good sense of humour who can handle it!!!!!!!

Black women get away with murder because
hair collected at the crime scene will lead
detectives to some chic in Brazil or India!!!