A question was asked why men do not share their problems and
frustrations with their wives.One person answered, “
You cannot discuss your malaria with a mosquito

The level of makeup experience that Shoprite girls uses is amazing
Today i saw one girl painted her lips with a eyebrows
and her eyebrows with a Lipsticks

(Pushing my son in his stroller)
beautiful lady: aww aren’t you adorable! how old are u?
Me: 30
Lady:I was talking to him, the bby..
Me:he doesn’t know how old I am
Lady walks away…. But why?

That moment you are laughing with your
mom then boom
she ask’s for yesterday change

When you’re Dead , You Don’t know You’re Dead.
The Pain is felt by Others.

The Same thing Happens when you’re Stupid

Does Anyone Actually Know What You’re Suppose To Do
When People Are Singing Happy Birthday To You

Boknoy caught boknoy sleeping in the middle of his class.
Teacher: Boknoy! (shout)
Boknoy: (awakened) ah yes, ma’am?
Teacher: why are you sleeping?
Boknoy: Ah, eh. Because Ma’am.
Teacher: because what?
Boknoy: your voice is very delicious, ma’am. You are like an angel to go down to heaven to sing us. That’s why I fell asleep.
Teacher: so why others don’t sleep?
Boknoy: because they are not listening to you, ma’am.

Wife: ( calling from the bath room in a very sweet and husky voice)

” Darling, I am in the bath room. ….have applied soap all over. …please come and rub . …properly with your strong hands….

.”Husband; ( reading newspaper…. jumps up with all happiness ….and tells his wife)

“Sweetheart…….I am coming”
(Reaches the bath room …sees his wife standing with a pile of clothes)

Wife: “listen, I have applied soap to the clothes…..now rub each of the clothes properly and wash them and hang them for drying…..I have enough work in the kitchen .” 😳😳

*Moral:*

*Mutual Fund Investments are subject to market risks, please read scheme related documents carefully, before investing.*

How to handle someone who is trying to sell you things you don’t need, on the telephone;
10. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died.” …..

9. If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where their company is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about them for as long as necessary. Such as when did their company start, who was the founder, are they still with company?

8. Cry out in surprise, the name of the telemarker name such as “Judy! Is that you? Oh my gosh! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give “Judy” a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.

7. If they call trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?”

6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

5. Tell the telemarketer you are on “home arrest” and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.

4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!”

2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”

And first and foremost:

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

Girls please stop trying to impress guys with
english
Boy:darling
Girl:hi baby
boy:how are you
girl:i am fun
boy:you are fun?!
girl:oops!sorry i meaning i am find
boy:eh,what you doing?
girl:the tv is washing me in Muvhango
boy:lol,k!who u with?
girl:my mother,my father and my parents
boy:yho!so when am i gonna see you? girl:ah
baby,but you is told me you are moneyless now
you wanna look me to the sea!
boy:lmao yoooh! What do you mean? girl:baby
laughing for who? Ah u see i make a stock of
laughing
boy:eh baby,I will call you coz ur texting is cripled
girl:ok baby,I am go waiting for ur missed
call,shap shap! lol
its better if you text in your own language

When you were single you dated married men , now you are married you don’t want others to have your husband ,No no my sister don’t be stingy learn to share.