A horny guy when proposing to an ugly chick be like:
“I hate to say this but I love you..!”

Give Him 20 chances Than To give 20 different Guys a chance…
chose to be Stupid Than to be a Hoe

Dating a married man is like driving a
government vehicle
–
–
you can drive it but you’ll never own it

Hi guys….mara hav u notice gore ma 1970s, 1980s and 1990s looks younger than Ma 2000..is something dat i jst notice now😏

When you were single you dated married men , now you are married you don’t want others to have your husband ,No no my sister don’t be stingy learn to share.

In a white guy’s car
Black :driver decrease me here
White : What😮
Black :leave me alone
White : I don’t understand
Black :Put me down bathong eh
White :😨😨🙆
Black :hey I know my placing home , you are increasing me mos

Abe and Sarah lying in bed. Freezing weather.
Sarah says, “ Abe, oy it’s so cold I’m freezing.”
So Abe gets up and gets an extra blanket from the cupboard.
“ Are you a bit warmer, feigele ? “ he asks.
“ Oy “ she replies. “ I’m still a bit cold.”
So he gets up once more and gets a thick woollen jersey and puts it on her.
“ Now are you warm ?” he says.
Sarah replies, “ You know, Abe. When I was a little girl in bed in winter, my mother would come lie next to me and snuggle up to keep me warm. Oy, a meichel.”
Abe looks at her and says, “ For G-d’s sake, Sarah, it’s one o’clock in the morning.
I’m NOT going to fetch your mother!!”

When a girl dumps you for no reason
You’ll even take your father’s phone and text her like..
_
“Are you sure you are done with my son?”

Those trucks which deliver petrol are not guarded
when they are not moving around😐
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Everyone has an annoying friend. If you don’t
have one, it’s probably you

A doctor wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. Phiri, I am going
hunting tomorrow. I dont want to close the clinic. I
want you to take care of the clinic and take care of my patients. Yes, sir! answers phiri.

The doctor
goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: So, phiri, how was your day? Phiri told
him that he took care of three patients.The first one
had a headache so I gave him Panadol. Bravo, and
the second one? asks the doctor. The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Flagyl, sir.
says phiri Bravo, bravo! Youre good at this and
what about the third one? asks the doctor.

Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door
opened and a woman entered. Like a flame, she
undressed herself,and lied down on the table. She
spread her legs and shouted: HELP ME! For five
years I have not seen any man!
Lord Jesus! Phiri, what did you do? asks the
doctor.
. .
PHIRI: I put eye-drops in her eyes, I think by now she’s able to see a man

A girl wrote on her status “All men are
goat”
And i asked her “Have u given ur father
grass today?