Teacher : “Ronnie why are you late?”
–
Ronnie : “I didn’t have my shoes”
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Teacher : “what?? Are you stupid? Where were they?”
–
Ronnie : “I’m not stupid, one shoe was in my dad’s hand and the other one was in my mom’s hand and they were beating each other.
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I received a call in the morning and the conversation was like this:
Me: hallo
Caller: do you have a heart?
Me: yes
Caller: do you have intestines?
Me: yes I do
Caller: OK am coming to take them..
He hung up.. Eeee I was like damn wat is happening to me. Am I dreaming??
He called again after some minutes..
Me (scared) :ha hallo!
Caller: hey sorry my brother, I thought I was calling the butcher , sorry wrong number my friend…
He hung up..
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Nowadays boys don’t hit & run.
They hit hit hit hit & hit again until ladies run!!
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Your problems are small if you’re still praying in English my friend.
•°•
African problems don’t understand English! ✋✋
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A man can work for 10years with unemployed wife and still be happy, But a woman will work 5days and the whole community will know about the unemployed husband.
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Why did the duck cross the road?
Because it didn’t wanted to be a chicken
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My neighbour is busy complaining about her lost chicken,
mxm it wasn’t even delicious
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As African we are slowly losing our culture.
I just saw someone eating rice and chicken but it’s not yet Christmas
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A guy was on a bus and his phone rang. It
was his wife calling he wanted to show off
so he decided to put his phone on
loudspeaker and answered..Him: Hi
sweetheart miss me already baby?.Wife:
Your Shitt! Miss who?
You ate the baby’s youghurt and ran away
you pig
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If you can kiss a woman with lipstick passionately..
My brother you can eat crayons happily.
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One Day A Man Was Driving Fast, And He Got Pulled Over By A Police Officer.
Officer: “What’s Your Excuse For Going Over The Speed Limit?”
Man In Hurry: “I’m Sorry Officer, But It’s A Matter Of Life And Death”
Officer: “What Do You Mean”
Man: “You See Officer, There’s A Woman Waiting For My At My House And I Have To Go To Her”
Officer: “That’s Not A Death Matter”
Man: “It Will Be, If My Wife Gets There First“
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I’m not alcoholic, I only drink twice a year…
When it’s my birthday, and when it’s not my birthday…
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WE ARE EXPERIENCING HIGHER THAN NORMAL ASS EATING VOLUMES,
PLEASE REMAIN EATING ASS.
YOUR ASS WILL BE EATEN IN THE ORDER IN WHICH IT WAS EATEN IN
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I have this guy I don’t wanna date and I don’t want anyone to date him
I just want him to stay single forever for my happiness😭😭
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Some idiot came to me and told me that
my ex is now fresh, cute, looks more sexy
and beautiful,, please my fellow friends if
they renovate my primary school does that
mean I should leave university and start
again?_*
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Her: Hey sugar
Me: hello teabag
She blocked me😱
I thought we were making tea
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