To have a big tummy doesn’t mean that
you are enjoying life.
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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
“I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes” exclaims Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”
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You Are Not African Enough If You Have Never Clap You Hands
In The Air To Kill Mosquito
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After you’ve been dumped,
that’s when you’ll start thinking
“aker I should have cheated”.
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Secret to a long lasting marriage. Listen to your husband always
because he’s always right😏
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FINAL EXAM PAPER for *LAW STUDENTS:*
Q. A Woman was driving a *Maruti* car. She mistakenly hit a *BMW* car.
The lady came out from her BMW, insulting the other lady for not being careful, asking her to repair her BMW
The Maruti car Woman called *her husband*, he replied -“I am very busy & please try fix up the Matter by urself”
The BMW lady called her *Boyfriend* and said *Sweetheart someone just hit the Birthday Gift you gave me,* I am so angry, please come over..”
Few minutes later her *Boyfriend arrived.* He is the *Husband* to the lady with the *Maruti* car!!!!
Discuss the possible *legal consequences* for all 3 parties.. (20 Marks)
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Real men always gives half of their salaries to their woman
but real woman always rejects the money
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There is no girl who ferbs like a girl who stays with her grandmother…
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The way am so broke
Am even thinking of going to a loan shark and
borrow a couple of thousands then do a protection order against him
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I started fearing smoking weed,when I saw my neighbour’s son dancing to the sound of my generator. ..When I switched it off he asked me who sang that song ? Because I was afraid he would beat me , I answered ” Yamaha featuring Petrol”
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WHEN I WAS YOUNG
I’d put my arms in my shirt 👕 and told people I lost my arms💪
• Would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose❎🚫
• Had that one pen with four colors, and tried to push all the buttons at once😔
• Waited behind a door 🚪 to scare someone, then leaving because they’re taking too long to come out 🚶 .
• Faked being asleep, so I couldbe carried to bed🏠
• Used to think that the moon🌚followed our car🚗
• Tried to balance the switch between On/ Off💢.
• Watching two drops of rain roll down window 💦pretending itwas a race 🏁 .
• The only thing i had to takecare of was a school bag 👝 .
• Swallowed a fruit seed I was scared to death that a tree 🎄was going to grow in my tummy.
• Closed the fridge extremely slowly to see when the lights went off😜👀.
• Walked into a room,. forgot what you needed😕, Walked out,and then remember😮.
If u really went through this can u drop a”HI”
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How much money do you think
can solve your current problems?
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Ghost 1: Hi
Ghost 2: Hey
Ghost 1: How did you die?
Ghost 2: I was mistakenly locked up in the frigerator. At first, I was chilling, then, it started freezing, and then, i couldn’t breathe again… I died of suffocation.
Ghost 1: Wow…. what a sad way to die.
Ghost 2: Yeah. How did u die?
Ghost 1: I died of heart attack.
Ghost 2: What happened?
Ghost 1: My wife cheated on me. I came back home and saw a man’s pair of shoes, then, I rushed to the bedroom and met only my wife there. She was naked. I knew there was a man in the house cos my neighbour told me. and the man was still in the house as my wife was undressed and scared. so, I started running and searching the whole house. I searched in the kid’s room, kitchen, toilet, bathroom, wardrobe and dinning, I couldn’t find him and I was very tired of running, so I got a heart attack.
Ghost 2: IDIOT!!!! If you had checked the refrigerator we would have been both alive by now!!!
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Tonight is the longest night of the year,
its sad you gonna spend it alone 😔
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Stay Away From Friends Who Become Moody After Getting Paid..!
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Life Was Lonely.
No One Was There.
I Had No Good Friend.
And When You Came Into My Life Then I Realised That..
.
Being lonely was better yaar!
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