I am Rico, I was still young when grandpa’s ikikwento is the sinking of the Titanic. It’s a true story because it’s really true. Grandfather is one of the passengers and with her grandma. Grandpa really felt like there is something wrong with the ship. How many times he told grandma to sink the ship but grandma doesn’t want to believe. So he did grandpa he cried. ” drown the ship! Let’s wear a gating life jacket!” grandpa’s cry. But no one minded him. Grandma scolded him because he said he was crazy. I didn’t drown it. So Grandpa did he go to the front and there he shouted a shout. ” the ship is supposed to drown! Are you stupid?” grandpa’s cry. But it’s still the same, he still ignored people until the grandfather was discharged in the cinema.

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*U think you are someone’s full chicken only find out you are not even a neck, you just nails

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If you know a guy who forgave a woman for cheating on him,
tell him panties are on special at PEP…

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Three Drunkies Entered A Taxi 😂

The Taxi Driver Knew that they were drunk so he Started The Engine And Turned It Off Again Then Said:”We Have Reached Your Destination”

The 1st Guy Gave Him Money And The 2nd Guy Said:”Thank You “And He Paid More Money then the usual taxi fee

The 3rd Guy Slapped The Driver, The Driver Was Shocked and Suprised Thinking The 3rd Drunk Knew What He Did . But Then He Asked” What Was That For ?’:

The 3rd Replied,-”Control Your Speed Next Time, You Nearly Killed Us All ” 😂😂

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I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING ….

Stolen:

I sent R1000 to a wrong number using ewallet

After realizing this, Icalmed down and sent him/her this text message:

“Hello Dear, I hope you got the membership welcome fee of R1000 to our Satanism Church. We are glad and looking forward to having you with us.

That is just the beginning of the richest life you are about to start living. We hope you are as excited to be joining our church as we are. As I just said, that is a
welcome salary.

We are having a meeting tonight whereby we will slaughter 3 people in celebration of the start of this month. Please invite over any female person you may be close to. Lets meet tonight at 8pm at YOUR PLACE.

If you haven’t shown any interest in our church and you believe this is a mistake, kindly send the money back to this number otherwise welcome to our Church. See you tonight.”

10 Minutes later, I got a message saying send another R1000 my friend is also interested’.

I fainted, people are so broke these days.

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Husband: bbe I have a problem
Wife: No bbe we are married now, we are one..don’t say “I have a problem” you should be saying “We Have a Problem”
Husband: Ohk bbe… We impregnated a Maid

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If alcohol slows down the progress of the youth,
can sober people please show us their millions..! ☝

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You can’t drink wine if you don’t know English coz every sip you must say ‘ as I was saying’

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Some ladies draw their eyebrows too high..
‘ they look surprised the whole day

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I’ve never heard Gays saying “Men are
trash ”
.
Ladies are lying Shem

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Happiest Moment For Today’s Generation Is

Battery Full

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I Wonder Why Women Complains About Us Men That We Are Dogs…..
Now Does That Mean Even Their Fathers Are The Dogs Too????

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If she rejects u saying you’re not her type,
my bro tell her ur Samsung
charger also works on Mobicell Phone.Type
doesn’t matter

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” I was hanging out on streets
smoking some dope weed around
23:30. I decided to go home but it
was far and there were no taxis at
that time of night. I decided to
walk while hiking rides. It started
to rain and suddenly a BMW
stopped by my side I quictly
jumped into the passenger’s seat
and close the door then of started
moving and as i was about to say
” thank you” to the driver, i
discovered that there was no body
in the car. I started to freak out
but was so scared to jump out of
a moving car. When the car got to
the bend,a hand came thru the
window and turned the steering
wheel, this happens twice then the
third time i totaly freaked out
screaming ran for my life, I entered
the nearest bar downing two milk
castle stout and still telling ghost
storie to those who cared to listen.
3 guys walked in the very same
bar all drenched in rain water, one
of them said Nok’s isn’t that the
mad person who enterd the car
while we were pushing it?

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Habits That Will Make You Poor Forever

There are habits you can develop that will make you poor forever.

1 Sleeping early and waking up late

Poor people sleep early and wake up late. Statistics from a popular researcher in USA showed that nearly 90% of the poor people sleep between 7pm and 9pm and wake up between 6am and 9am while rich people sleep earliest 9pm and wake up latest 6am.

In life, the more time you dedicate into your work, the higher the chances of getting optimum results.

Poor people don’t see the value of putting more time into their work, they simply work under instructions.

2 Take a lot of alcohol daily and other hard drugs

The worst mistake you can make is to start swimming into alcohol. You will eventually become an addict, thus affecting your output.

If you want to be rich, you must have specific time you take alcohol and the limit set.

3 Keep lazy friends

Your friends will determine how far you’ll get in life because your thoughts and your friends thoughts are almost similar. If you have lazy friends, friends with little ambitions, the only thing you can achieve in life is breathing.

4 Marry and have many children when you have nothing

If you’re born by poor parents, the best thing to do to your life is not to marry when you have nothing or if you get married don’t have many children. It’s ironical that rich people have few children while poor children have several children.

When you give birth, that child will always look up to you for all the basic needs a human being needs. If you have 3 to 20 children, you will need several granaries of food to satisfy them. Nearly all your resources will be directed towards upkeep.

5 Spend too much time in school and college

Education should have limits. On this earth, no employer will pay you money enough to satisfy you even if you possess 30 degrees. Rich people have few academic papers because they know the value of being innovative as opposed to possessing many degrees. If you look around, you will hardly find a billionaire professor, why?!!

6 Avoiding risks

Most people always like to take safe routes, which is why they are poor. Great opportunities are hidden where risks are high. When you avoid taking risks, it means you have decided to settle for less.

7 Minding other people’s business

When you focus too much on other people’s affairs, you forget about your purpose in life.To succeed, you have to take time to plan, execute and see results. But if your work is to monitor what others are doing, you will achieve little.

8 Being an employee forever

Tell me how many employees are listed in top 1,000 wealthiest people on earth. There is no employer who will pay you more than they pay themselves.

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Jonathan
Imagine What Church Will Be Like In The Year 2030 if care is not taken…
Pastor: Praise The Lord
Congregation: Hallelujah
Pastor: Can We Pls Open our iPads to Exodus 20:1
When U r Done Kindly Switch On Ur Bluetooth To Receive The Sermon…
Pls Have Ur Debit Cards Ready As We Collect The Tithes And Offerings….
You Can Connect To Church WiFi Using Password: Lord3732
And As For The Renovations And Donations U r Welcome To Contribute Via Cellphone Banking
The Holy Atmosphere Will Be Electric As IPads Flicker
Meanwhile… ANNOUNCEMENTS
Church Secretary: Dis Week’s Meeting Will Be Held On Various WhatsApp Groups So Pls Don’t Miss Out …
Wednesday Bible Teaching Will Be Held Live On Skype @1900GMT…
By D Way You May Follow The Pastor On Twitter For Counselling And don’t Forget Our Weekly Prayers On YouTube… God Bless us….
If care is not taken, this is how next generation children will learn their ABC. A for Apple won’t be useful anymore…. Instead:
A is for ATM
B is for Bluetooth
C is for Chatting
D is for Download
E is for Email
F is for Facebook
G is for Google
H is for Hotmail
I is for instagram
J is for Java
K is for Konga
L is for Laptop
M is for MTN
N is for Network
O is for Opera Mini
P is for PicMix
Q is for QuickTime
R is for RAM
S is for Skype
T is for Twitter
U is for USB
V is for Vista
W is for WhatsApp
X is for Xender
Y is for Yahoo
Z is for Zuma

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