ATM’s should have a timer if u take long
it must swallow your card and spray teargas on u

When she starts drawing words on your chest
be ready for questions you can’t answer

Who else has noticed that the guy playing the Keyboard in Church does not pay offering

You see that guy who is replying faster than your boyfriend?
He is also replying slowly to his girlfriend.
Stay where you are

Dear Friends
Lets create a book of lies we have heard and said;

Page 1: I cant live without you

touch lets go

Public Service Announcement
If the relationship started this year 2018, then it is not eligible for Valentine’s gifts and spoiling……
It’s considered a Late Entry.
Boyfriends Association of Africa.

whoever invented marriage was creepy as hell✋
Like I’m gonna love you so much,
I’m gonna get the government involved so you can’t leave

Support him until he makes a good living so he can leave you for a girl
he couldn’t get when he was broke…

AN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND
TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE
HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING
SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE
AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER
STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH
A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE
OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE
YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE
OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, “HEY OLD
WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?”
THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE
GUNSLINGER AND SAID, “NO,… I
NEVER DID DANCE… NEVER REALLY
WANTED TO.”
A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE
GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID
“WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU’RE GONNA
DANCE NOW,” AND STARTED
SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN’S
FEET.
THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR —
NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE
BLOWN OFF –STARTED HOPPING
AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS
LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET
HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG
GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING,
HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED
AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE
SALOON.
THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER
PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-
BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED
BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY
THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE
CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING
IMMEDIATELY.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE
SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED
AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE
WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE
CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG
GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD
WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING
HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.
THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN
NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD
WOMAN’S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY
SAID, “SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED
A MULE’S ASS?”
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD
AND SAID, “NO M’AM… BUT I’VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO.
THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR
ALL OF US:
1 – Never be arrogant.
2 – Don’t waste ammunition.
3 – Whiskey makes you think you’re
smarter than you are.
4 – Always make sure you know who
has the power.
5 – Don’t mess with old people; they
didn’t get old by being stupid.

People who buy a car and don’t post it on Facebook you are too matured but as for me when I buy a car, I will not only post it, but also park it in your timeline

I went for a job interview the other day. They asked me what my greatest weakness was.
I replied, “I tend to ask too many questions, why do you ask?

They will sleep with their bosses to get job promotion then come on social media and brag ‘look at me….God is wonderful…he always do things in a mysterious way!!!’
Nxaaaa stop fooling God sis and the thunder that is gonna strike you is doing press ups in Limpopo

Gents if you want a girlfriend try those girls
who are always sharing posts…
Most of them are lonely