The reason why women live long is because they don’t have a “Wife”…

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Two Men were out fishing when one decides to have a smoke
He asks the other guy if he has a lighter
He replies ” Yes i do ” and hands the other a 10 inch long BIC lighter
Surprised the guy asks “Where did you get this?”
The guy replies ” Oh I have a personal genie”
The first man asks “Can i make a wish? ”
Sure says the other man “Just make sure that you speak clearly cause he is a little hard at hearing”
“Ok I will” says the other as he rubs the lamp a genie appears and asks the man what he wants
The man says ” I want a Million Bucks ”
The genie says OK and goes back to his bottle and 10 seconds later a million ducks fly over head
And the guy says to the other ” Your genie realy sucks at hearing doesnt He?”
The other man replies “I know, do you really think I asked for a 10 inch BIC”

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The Bible says : “He who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery”
And since its winter i say “He who looks at water and soap lustfully has already bathed”

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A touching Story:
A boy touches a girls hand,
and the following a girl touches the boys hand…
what a touching story.
😄😃😆😁😀😀🤣😂😂

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Next Sunday when your pastor says Do something you never did b4

U mast grab the offering basket and run away

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Women Who Can’t Cook Can Be So Dramatic,
You’ll Find Her Wearing An Apron Just To Boil water.“`
😂😂😂😂

Love you all👍

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Angulu FIRS:
If you marry the right person, everyday is Valentine’s Day.

Marry the wrong person, everyday is Martyrs Day.

Marry a lazy person, everyday is Labour Day.

Marry a rich person everyday is New Year’s Day

Marry an immature person, everyday would seem like Children’s Day.

Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool’s Day.

And if you don’t get married, everyday is Independence Day!

Marriage is the only school where you get the Certificate before you start.

It’s also a school where you will never graduate.

It’s a school without a break or a free period.

It’s a school where no one is allowed to drop out.

It’s a school you will have to attend every day of your life.

It’s a school where there is no sick leave or holidays.

It’s a school founded by God:

1.On the foundation of love.

2.The walls are made out of trust.

3.The door made out of acceptance.

4.The windows made out of understanding

5.The furniture made out of blessings

6.The roof made out of faith.

Be reminded that you are just a student not the principal.

God is the only Principal.

Even in times of storms, don’t be unwise and run outside.

Keep in mind that, this school is the safest place to be.

Never go to sleep before completing your
assignments for the day.

Never forget the C-word…Communicate.

Communicate with your classmate and with the Principal.

If you find out something in your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate,

Remember your classmate is also just a student not a graduate,

God is not finished with him/her yet.

So take it as a challenge and work on it together.

Do not forget to study the Holy Book (the main textbook of this school).

Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way.

Sometimes you will feel like not attending classes, yet you have to.

When tempted to quit find courage and continue.

Some tests and exams may be tough but remember,

the Principal knows how much you can bear and yet

it’s a school better than any other.

It’s one of the best schools on earth;

joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.

Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.

After all the years of theorizing about it, now you have a chance to practice it.

To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.

Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse.
More grace from God.

Send this to all your married friends to encourage them, and to your unmarried friends to counsel and educate them.

Beloved!
God bless you and bless your marriage.

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Are you aware that when the relationship is still new
there’s no Network problem..!!?

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If u care 4 me,
i will care 4 u,
if u miss me,
i will miss u,
if u msg me,
i will msg u,
if u forget me..
sorry dear kahani me TWIST hai,
i will kill U!

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The way TUT students look at us when
they are In a bus
You’d swear they are Real Madrid entering
the stadium

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Today I was listening to radio they were talking about Mandela, I watch TV Mandela, I go out people are talking about Mandela, now I’m in the tavern I’m afraid to open my wallet because I will also see Mandela 😂😂

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10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY:
1. Give him sex
2. Obey him.
3. Love his parents.
4. Respect his siblings.
5. Never argue with him.
6. Always make him feel he’s the superior. 7. Never investigate his phone.
8. Kiss him when he insults you.
9. Don’t waste his property.
10. Support him when he’s broke.
10 WAYS TO MAKE YOUR WIFE HAPPY:
1. Give her money.
2. Always give her money.
3. Continue to give her money.
4. Keep giving her money.
5. Never get tired of giving her money.
6. Give her money even before she asks.
7. Just continue to give her money.
8. Just keep giving her money.
9. Just never get tired of giving her money.
10. Just give her money even before she asks.

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It’s not that i don’t have cash to buy a car
im just shy to buy 1

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Santa’s Wife faints. He phones for ambulance.
“Address?”
“Eucalyptus rd”
“Spell it please” .
“I’ll drag her to Oak rd can u pick her up there?”

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I stopped trusting girls when my grade 3 girlfriend left me for a boy
who had new crayons in class

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If someone tells you a secret and you disclose it,
you’re the reason behind the proverb “Walls Have Ears”..!

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