The most common cause of stress
nowadays is dealing with idiots
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The most common cause of stress
nowadays is dealing with idiots
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*I found a guy today drinking his beer at 6:30 am.*
*I asked him: “Isn’t it too early for you to be drinking ?”*
*He replied: “Ooh really, at what time do throats open?”*
*I walked away…*
*Now minding my own business…*
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Some guys be calling their girlfriends “My Queen! My Queen!!” but when the Queen asks for R50 the kingdom scatters and the king disappears.
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Dating a skinny chick is a problem when she is like
”Babe switch off the fan it’s pushing me”
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Angulu FIRS:
If you marry the right person, everyday is Valentine’s Day.
Marry the wrong person, everyday is Martyrs Day.
Marry a lazy person, everyday is Labour Day.
Marry a rich person everyday is New Year’s Day
Marry an immature person, everyday would seem like Children’s Day.
Marry a cheater or liar, everyday will become April Fool’s Day.
And if you don’t get married, everyday is Independence Day!
Marriage is the only school where you get the Certificate before you start.
It’s also a school where you will never graduate.
It’s a school without a break or a free period.
It’s a school where no one is allowed to drop out.
It’s a school you will have to attend every day of your life.
It’s a school where there is no sick leave or holidays.
It’s a school founded by God:
1.On the foundation of love.
2.The walls are made out of trust.
3.The door made out of acceptance.
4.The windows made out of understanding
5.The furniture made out of blessings
6.The roof made out of faith.
Be reminded that you are just a student not the principal.
God is the only Principal.
Even in times of storms, don’t be unwise and run outside.
Keep in mind that, this school is the safest place to be.
Never go to sleep before completing your
assignments for the day.
Never forget the C-word…Communicate.
Communicate with your classmate and with the Principal.
If you find out something in your classmate (spouse) that you do not appreciate,
Remember your classmate is also just a student not a graduate,
God is not finished with him/her yet.
So take it as a challenge and work on it together.
Do not forget to study the Holy Book (the main textbook of this school).
Start each day with a sacred assembly and end it the same way.
Sometimes you will feel like not attending classes, yet you have to.
When tempted to quit find courage and continue.
Some tests and exams may be tough but remember,
the Principal knows how much you can bear and yet
it’s a school better than any other.
It’s one of the best schools on earth;
joy, peace and happiness accompany each lesson of the day.
Different subjects are offered in this school, yet love is the major subject.
After all the years of theorizing about it, now you have a chance to practice it.
To be loved is a good thing, but to love is the greatest privilege of them all.
Marriage is a place of love, so love your spouse.
More grace from God.
Send this to all your married friends to encourage them, and to your unmarried friends to counsel and educate them.
Beloved!
God bless you and bless your marriage.
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The movement u want to make soundless fart inside a Taxi,
and u poo on ur cloth, and the passenger start looking u
immediately , u will start talking nonsense. You will be like ” shit…. see how dis traffic light is smelling shit…
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Why all these Pastors and Prophets who are currently here in South Africa can’t go to other African countries like Libya, Zimbabwe, Tunisia, Egypt and Morocco etc, to do the dirty works there too? Why is it seems like everyone who want to become Pastor/Prophet the first choice is to come to South Africa?
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Son: My fathers name is Laughing and my mothers name is Smilling
Teacher: You must be Kidding
Son: No, that my sisters name,I’m joking!!!
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Boy: hi miss, are you water?
.
Girl: I am a person, are you stupid? Isn’t it obvious? Will you talk to me if i am water? That’s why you don’t have it.
.
Boy: is it like that? What do you just say matches for another matches?
.
Girl: I already know that. Says matches in another matches “match us”.
.
Boy: Idiot! He has nothing to say. It’s matches. Do you know any posporong speaking? That’s why no one is courting you.
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HER: do u smoke
Me: yes
Her: how much is cigarette
Me: R3
Her: How many cigarettes do u you smoke in a day
Me: 10
Her: how long have you been smoking
Me: 15 years
Her: if you save R30 in a day you would have a new BMW now
Me: that’s true…..Can I ask you a question
Her: yes
Me: do you smoke?
Her: nop
Me: where’s your BMW🤨
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Everyday I view fat people’s pictures on facebook
now i no longer have space on my phone memory.
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Stop being a racist . Wash your
white and black clothes together
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Dear ,
I drink very little.
And when I drink little,
I become a different person.
*This different person drinks a lot*
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Gents….
A girl doesn’t need to tell you how she feels.
Its written all over the way
she behaves when you are around.
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Lebo:I love u.
Tebza:Same
Lebo:So why don’t u say it?
Tebza:Because u will smile.
Lebo:So?
Tebza:You will show ur teeth
Lebo:What’s wrong with my teeth?
Tebza:They remind me of a song.
Lebo:What song?(Blushing) Tell me.
Tebza:Black and Yellow,Black and Yellow.
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The person who took my shoes yesterday
while I was on McDonald’s Jumping Castle
please grow up marn, Nxa!! 😒😏
.
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