Welcome to Africa where people kill Snakes and Later pay to see them in the ZOO

Doctor : what is your problem .
Patient: I have a bad headache with mary and 99 others

RULES AND REGULATION FOR MY FUTURE WIFE
1. My future wife is not allowed to have more than 3 male friends: Me, her dad and her brother (if you have two brother
you better pick your favourite)
2. My future wife is not allowed to pray silently. I wanna know
what’s going on between you and Jesus.
3. If my future wife wants to comment on any guy’s post we
must first discuss about it.
4. My future wife is not allowed to work.. Cause being with me is a full time job”
5. My future wife is not allowed to hide her phone from me. As
long as we’re together it’s not an iPhone it’s a “wePhone”.
6. My future wife is not allowed to sleep unless I’m watching
her. If she laughs in her sleep I’m coming into her dreams to see what’s so funny…
I am caring. Right?

The power of weed
One time the 5 guys had gone in the bush to
smoke weed.They smoke from morning till
14hrs and they run out of fire. So they
decided to send one of their friend to look
for fire.
The guy goes round the bush but couldn’t
find any fire.He then come across his friends
(same group he was with ) he asked if they
had fire and one of the guys says “we’ve
sent our friend to look for fire and if you
don’t mind you can wait we ‘ll give you
some as soon as he returns. He joined the
friends and kept waiting for himself.

“My Pastor asked me how much I bought my iphone 7 for, and I said R2,000 instead of R10,000 , because I did not want him to shout and ask how much I give to God. Then he gave me R4000 to buy two for him and his wife.
The money is still with me since last sunday; I don’t know what to do .
Please advise me

*Dating a lady with a car*

*Advantage :she can come anytime*

*Disadvantage:she can come anytime*

I want to start a TV show that helps people to get their Jersey back from their Ex…

I was in a taxi and there was this muscular and wierd looking guy sitting at the back seat… His phone rings and he answers “yes boss, I’m with him in the same taxi, When he gets off, I’ll shoot him”

Well, we are now at the taxi driver’s house because no one wants to get down.

I was sitting at KFC enjoying my hot wings…a
well dressed man, caring a bag, walked in. In
the
mean time a woman walked in saying to the
man… Woman: My husband just died I have no
money to feed my kids…without no hesitation
the man open the bag and gave the woman R50
000 in cash. Me sitting there i was like wow this
guy is truly a good guy. Few seconds later a boy
came in sobbing and crying saying to the guy
Boy: Sir I’m an orphan…can you give me R10M
so that I can start my own business …without
no
hesitation again…the man opened a bag and
wrote a cheque of R10M and gave it to the boy.
Me sitting there I was like F***k it this is my
moment…this man was sent to me …out of
Nowhere I started sobbing and crying deeply I
left my hot wings run to the man kneeled while
gripping him by his trouser and said to him…
Me: Sir I have a wife and 6 children…and im
unemployed…can you give me R20M so that I
can start my own business too…some few
second later I heard people laughing from
outside…and the director said cut…cut…cut
…cut….sorry brother we are shooting a
movie.

If u ask her “how are u’? and she
replies
“I’m not fine”!
Don’t ask her why oh. ! Its a trap,
just tell her
may God be with you!

An illiterate father with his
educated son went on a camping
trip.
They set up their tent and fell
asleep.
Hours later.. Father wakes his son
and asks:
“Look up to the sky and tell me what
you see.”
Son: I see millions of stars.
Father: What does that tell you?
Son: Astronomically, it tells that
there are millions of planets and
galaxies.
Father slaps the son hard and says:
“Idiot, someone has stolen our
tent!”
LESSON: EDUCATION ruins COMMON
SENSE

My Teacher pointed at me with his ruler and said said ”
At the end of this ruler there’s an idiot!””

I got detection after asking which end

You promising her a big wedding💔
but you owe Vodacom R50 Airtime in advance.!!

I’ve text most of the people on my phone asking what IDK means…
They all said I don’t know! Nobody knows. What does it mean guys?