Welcome to South Africa where
(1). Young girls look forward to putting their signatures on Social Grants than JOB CONTRACTS,
(2). Beer is more important than water,
(3). Arbotion is legal, yet murder is illegal,
(4). Rape and other crime rate is higher than education,
(5). Getting a smart phone is greater than achieving a degree,
(6). Beautiful girls are getting 100+ LIKES on social networks everyday, while the ugly ones are getting DEGREES and getting MARRIED every weekend,
(7). Losing a phone is more painful than losing virginity,
(8). Pizza deliveries are faster than an emergency response

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If you are not dating her stop commenting
“My love, My baby”on her posts.
Allow her future hubby to locate her in peace.

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I was at shoprite then there’s this
lady who was staring at me as if she
had never seen someone drinking coke
and putting it back in the fridge

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Relationship stress will make you
forget to seat down in a taxi..

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A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Calvin says, “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, have an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day.”
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of Calvin, decides not to give importance to what he has said and then continues the lesson.
“And you, Amanda?” the teacher asks.
Amanda says, “I wanna be Calvin’s Bitch”

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Once you turn 25yrs and above there’s no need to set an alarm.
Your problems will wake you up by force

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Some girls will be like “I want a God fearing man” but two weeks after accepting your proposal She will be asking for *IPhone 7 rather than King James Bible*

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Little Johnny walks into his mother’s room and catches her topless.
”Mommy, Mommy, what are those?” he says pointing to her chest.
“Well, son,” she says, These are Mommies balloons, and when you die, they inflate and float you up to heaven.
”Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off quite satisfied.
Two days later while his mother is making tea, Johnny rushes into the kitchen.
“Mommy, mommy, Aunt Eliza is dying!”
“What do you mean?” says his mother.
“Well she’s out in the garden shed, lying on the floor.
Both of her balloons are out, Dad’s blowing them up, and she keeps yelling, ”God, I’m coming! God, I’m coming!”

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Gents
If a girl refuses to reply your messages on Messanger,
just go to her timeline and post
“Thanks for the night”
And wait for her in your inbox, she’s coming

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IF you call him and he is eating don’t disturb him girl just hangup.
Don’t make him choose between you and food

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*MATHEMATICS EXAM PAPER*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy spending on her like there is no tomorrow. eventually she drops you and concentrates on her innocent husband. Calculate the percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife and she gave it to her husband. Using trigonometric identities, derive a general formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies and every lady is demanding for a Samsung Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against volume of apologies to your family members. *(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and face booking other peoples’ wives yet you don’t want to see your wife on social networks. Calculate the Percentage Error in your Thinking Capacity. *(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a petty trader, your combined household income is less than $500. Your daughter who is awaiting A level results is using iPhone 6s and Samsung Galaxy worth $800 each. Calculate the Percentage of your Parental Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use the law of diminishing returns to calculate the substance that will be left for your husband to enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife $2for sitshebo, but you spend over $20 in bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
ALL THE BEST

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When you’re ugly you’re ugly the is Nothing can change that.

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A man asked a very beautiful Air hostess: “What’s your name?”

Air hostess: “Eva Benz..”

Man : “Lovely name…any relation to Mercedes Benz?”

Air hostess: (smiling) “The maintenance costs are the same”

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Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”
The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.”
Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.’”
The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”
The brunette explains, “My sister’s blonde. She’ll read it very slow.”

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JUST FOR FUN.

Type “I am a big” and keep pressing the middle prediction. Let your keyboard form the sentence.

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