Jack’s in the bathroom and His wife shouts to him
“Did you find the shampoo?”
Jack says, “yes but it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine

The traffic cops notice a car being driven erratically up ahead and when they draw near they see the driver clattering his dog on its head. They pull him over and the lead cop goes up to the car and says ‘Not only am l booking you for driving without due care and attention, l’m also booking you for cruelty to animals.’ The bloke says ‘lf you knew what this dog had done you’d give him a clout as well’. ‘Why?’ says the cop ‘ What’s he done?’ The bloke says ‘He’s just eaten my licence and insurance.’

If you can’t solve a financial problem with at least 3 phone calls,
Then you need to change your circle of friends.

When She Takes Off Her Weave Before Sex
Cause She Wanna Face You, Man To Man!!!

I forgot to zip up my trouser, so a lady told me politely, “sir your garage is open” I gave her naughty smile as I zip up and asked, “Did you see my RANGE ROVER parked inside?” The lady smiles back and said “no just one small TOYOTA with two Flat tyres.
I’m still crying

The day women respect their Spouses the same way they
effortlessly kneel down before their pastors,
MEN will attend church! 🙏

Me: Have a nice day

Her: Don’t tell me what to do

Fake Friends – Never ask for food🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 🍻🍻🍻..
Real Friends – Are the reason you have NO food!🍶🍶🍶 🍩🍩🍩🍺🍺🍺
Fake Friends – Call your parents mr. / Mrs.👫👫👪
Real Friends – Call your parents Dad / Mom👫👫👫👫
Fake Friends – Never have seen you cry..😞😒😞
Real Friends – Cry with you😭😭😭😭
Fake Friends – Borrow your stuff for a few days, then give it back🎳🎳
Real Friends – Keep your stuff so long, they forget it’s yours!🔨🔨 🔩🔩
Fake Friends – Know a few things about you..🎆
Real Friends – Could write a book about you📝📝📝📝💾
Fake Friends – Would knock on your front door.. 🐢🐢
Real Friends – Walk right in and say
“I’m home!”🐤🐤🐤
Fake Friends – Will help you up when you fall over😑😑😑
Real Friends – Will jump on top of you and shout “dog pile!”😁😁
Fake Friends – Are around for a while..😒😒
Real Friends – Are for life🙌🙌
Fake Friends – Say “like you” in a joking manner😒😒
Real Friends – say “I like you” and they mean it☺☺
Fake Friends – will read this.😒😒
Real Friends- will comment his/her best friend name

Your Parents Are Still Together 😬😴
But When You Are Asked “Who Your Favorite Couple is?” ,
You’ll Say it’s “Jay Z And Beyonce” 😠😡 ..
After All The School fees

My bro, This year we are dating young girls who were born in 2000,
not these freedom fighters that give us a hard time!

{Dear Ladies}
•°•
You’re Not Romantic Enough If You’ve
Never Worn Your Boyfriend’s Underwear!!

Shoutout to my school teacher who said
I’m going to end up being a taxi conductor…
Tomorrow’s my 1st day

Dear Ladies
I remind you again
Not all guys hit and run…
Some will hit hit hit hit hit hit, destroy the place and watch you run.