“When you are in high School a guy from University takes your girlfriend.

You go to University a guy who is working takes your girlfriend, then you start working a guy with a car takes your girlfriend.

You buy a car a sugar daddy takes your girlfriend.

Now you become rich yourself and here comes a six-packed dude from University and he takes your girlfriend/wife…

Ladies, tell us, what exactly do you want from your men?”

I have a girlfriend who is a police officer. When she misses me, she just come to my house in uniform and arrest me in presence of my wife and take me to her home till the next day.

Then she bring me back and tell my wife “we are not done with investigations yet. I shall pick him up anytime we want more from him“

And my innocent wife will always say: ‘madam officer, God bless you for handling my husband’s case with care I will make sure he is always available anytime you need him”. Share & enjoy your day as you put smile on somebody’s face also.

Keep On Forgiving Him while You Are still Looking for Someone to Replace with

I miss being at school, laughing at people who can’t read..! ☝

Being Single is a Sin even the word itself begin with “Sin”

My wife got stung by a bee on the
forehead.
She’s at the doctor’s now,
her face all swollen and bruised,
she almost died.
Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee
with my shovel.

Dear baby mama
You are allowed to call your baby dad at 03:00 am
and tell him his baby is dreaming

Congratulations to women who got pregnant
by men they met on Facebook,
you’re carrying a little “notification

Whether I have a house or not if I’m dating a girl with a house,
I become the man of that house and she has to listen to me,
if not she must get out of my house

*WE ARE BLACK AND WE DONT CARE WHAT THEY THINK OF US**
.

-We call every toothpaste COLGATE
We don’t care
-We call every cooking oil FISH OIL
We are proud
-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who’s sitting there ”
We are like that
-We call every cold drinks COKE
We don’t care
-We steal your belongings and help you look for them
We are just like that
-We name our dogs TIGER or Spider
We don’t give a f**k
-We promise to stab you with a slap or bare hand
We are sometimes strange
-We eat a fruit an expect to be healthy at the same time
We don’t care
-When electricity goes we go out and,check if it’s the whole street
We are just like that
-We blame atchar for smelling armpits even if we didn’t bath
We are sometimes weird
-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a Sim card
We don’t have a problem
-We buy something,skip instruction&ask neighbors how it’s used
We don’t care
-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it 3x before going
We are cautious
-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before going
We are like that
-We pay R500 to a sangoma so we can know who stole R50
We are sometimes weird
-We turn off the volume just to smell what’s burning
We are like that
-When we go out we turn on the lights just to confuse thieves
We are smart
-We share beers and cigarettes but we don’t share opportunities
We are sometimes selfish
We are proud to be black and we love ourselves like that

She caught me cheating now she says if I
still want her, I must sing the National
Anthem backwards

Am i the only one who goes house 🏡 to house 🏡 and introduce my girlfriend after getting in a new relationship???

The Perfect Man: – wakes up at 5 am everyday – exercises everyday – makes his own bed – cleans his room – works sincerely – does not touch alcohol – helps in the kitchen – does not indulge in night life – always punctual – prays daily – hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.

Witchcraft + Satanism – Is when you walk 🚶‍♂ 3km to work and when you get to your office you realize you left the office key 🗝 at home 🏡, you leave your heavy brief case 💼 at the office doorstep then you walk back home.
When you arrive you realize you left your house keys 🔑 in that heavy brief case 💼, you go back to the office doorstep and fetch the big brief case 💼.
Then when you get home 🏡 you see the office key in your big brief case 👀