3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine then switched it off again, then he said “we have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him the bus fare, the 2nd guy said “Thank you”, the 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking that the 3rd guy knew that they are being robbed, but then the driver asked “what was that for”, the 3rd guy replied “Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us”

if He Doesn’t Get Angry When You Refuse To Give Him “🍑” ,
Be Worried My Sister !!

That Awkward Moment When You Realize You’re Walking In The Wrong Direction..
.
So You Hit Your Pockets Pretending You Forgot Something

*UNIVERSITY OF MARRIAGE FINAL YEAR
MATHS EXAMS*
*Time*: *3Hrs 30MINS*
*INSTRUCTIONS:*
1 *_ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS_*
2 *_ALL QUESTIONS CARRY EQUAL MARKS_*
*1.* You are a married man and you have
dated somebody’s wife for *two* years, busy
spending on her like there is no tomorrow.
eventually she drops you and concentrates on
her innocent husband. Calculate the
percentage of time wasted. *(20 marks)*
*2.* You bought a phone for your friend’s wife
and she gave it to her husband. Using
trigonometric identities, derive a general
formula for this type of love. *(20 marks)*
*3. For Men* You’re dating around 15 ladies
and every lady is demanding for a Samsung
Galaxy and an iPhone 6s
*(a)* Plot a graph of detoothers against prices
of phones. *(15marks)*
*(b)* Use your graph to estimate your future
poverty *(5marks)*
*(c)* Plot the percentage shame against
volume of apologies to your family members.
*(5 Mks)*
*4.* You are whatsapping and facebooking
other people’s wives yet you don’t want to see
your wife on the social network. Calculate the
Percentage Error in your thinking capacity. *
(20 marks)*
*5.* You are a *civil servant*, your wife is a
petty trader, your combined household income
is less than N1,000,000. Your daughter who is
awaiting *WASSCE* result is using iPhone 6s
and Samsung Galaxy worth N700,000 each.
Calculate the Percentage of your Parental
Negligence. *(20 marks)*
*6. *For ladies* You’re a married woman and
you have dated 20 guys with hard labour, use
the law of diminishing Return to calculate the
substance that will be left for your husband to
enjoy. *(20 marks)*
*7.* You can’t give your wife N10,000 for a
pot of soup, but you spend over N50,000 in
bars and restaurant.
Calculate the radius of your ‘stupidity’, take
π=3.142 *(20 marks)*
8.* You have been in the church and in your
fellowship for years but your name is not in
the book of LIFE because of the secret sin.
Calculate the years you will spend in HELL? *
(30 mark)*
_*BEST OF LUCK!*
Your Time Starts Now. But remember to share
to all your friends because the question
papers are not many to go round

A man’s ears are SELECTIVE:
.
Example:
When a woman says:
This house is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this,
Your stuff are all on the floor,
You will be without clothes If u don’t wash them NOW.
The man’s ears only understands:
bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, NOW

A mad person stole a mobile phone from a shop. He was caught but the owner of the shop decided to let him keep it, after all a mad person wouldn’t know how to operate the complicated handset. But something funny happened as the mad man pressed the phone, it didn’t respond, so he continued pressing and pressing and pressing… *Read more*..

I wonder why rich people don’t fall in church during deliverance…
Are demons meant for only poor people..??

Her: what do you do for living babie😘?
Me: my brother is in America

Being attractive is tough.
Everybody wants to sleep with you but nobody wants to love you

My Neighbour Was Very Sick And Then He Called A Witchdoctor To Come And Treat Him in His House .. The Witchdoctor Said His Case Was “Critical” And That “He Cannot Be Cured” , But The Sickness Can Be Transferred To Another Person .. My Neighbour Accepted … The Witchdoctor Worked On Him And Told Him That “As i Am Leaving , if Anyone Opens The Door You Must Say “Tchaa” , And That Person Will Die in Your Place .. The Witchdoctor Left , And My Neighbour Was Waiting For The First Unlucky Person So That He Will Say “Tchaa” And Transfer His Sickness To That Person .. But The Witchdoctor Discovered That He Hadn’t Collect His Money From My Neighbour For His Treatment , So He Decided To Go Back For His Money .. As Soon As He Opened The Door , My Neighbour Said “Tchaa” .. The Witchdoctor Said “Retchaa” , My Neighbour Then Said “Reretchaa” .. The Witchdoctor Said “Rereretchaa” 😂😂 … As i Speak With You Now , The Whole Neighbourhood is There Watching The Two Shouting “Rerererereretchaa” To Each Other non-stop

Couples are Busy chasing Money Together ,
meanwhile wena And Your Gorilla Are still Arguing
Who should Text First,,, Hayyyiii Tsek

My sisters, labour pains are not that much painful. 😂 😂 😂
.
Especially if you give birth wheras you have a wedding ring on you hand.

A woman who finds beauty within herself
without comparing to other women
will always win in life.

Short chicks are funny when they pissed off
looking like a little toy with new batteries

If you spend more time on Facebook than WhatsApp,
then you’re probably single.