Girl: Honey I had a dream that you bought me a gold necklace..!😘
Boy: Go back to sleep and wear it..

OFFICER:- what is your name?
NYAA:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- tell me properly!
NYAA:- Michael Phiri sir
OFFICER:- your father’s name?
NYAA:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- what does that mean?
NYAA:- Moses Phiri sir
OFFICER:- your native place?
NYAA: M.P sir
OFFICER:- is it Makurdi Purum?
NYAA:- No, Minna Port sir
OFFICER:- what is your
qualification?
NYAA:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- (angry) what is it?!
NYAA:- Metric Pass
OFFICER:- so why do you need a
job?
NYAA:- M.P sir
OFFICER: meaning?
NYAA:- Money Problem sir
OFFICER:- what is your
personality?
NYAA:- M.P sir
OFFICER:- would you explain
urself and stop wasting my time?
NYAA:- Monacrotic Personality
OFFICER:- I see… I will get back to
you.
NYAA:- sir, how’s my M.P?
OFFICER:- and what’s that again?
NYAA:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- M.P !
NYAA:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!

Some girls the moment you tell her “I love you” She becomes phoneless, cashless,dataless, homeless and all kinds of lessness

Her: bbe im wet
Me : do u need a tissue
Her: im so wet i need something round and big
Me: eh you need the whole roll of tissue

Three little kids are arguing in the playground over whose father was the fastest.

(A) The first kid says, my dad is so fast he can shoot an arrow, put his bow on the ground, chase the arrow and catch it before it hits the target.

(B)The second kid says, my dad is so fast, when he goes to bed at night and turns off the light, he is in bed before the room gets dark.

(C) The third kid says that’s nothing…… My dad works for the local council, he is so fast, that when he knocks off work at 3:30 pm he’s at home by 3pm.”

Who is the fastest?

Some of you should have been married
long time..you always looking down on
your smart phones at the malls, passing
your husbands

You’ll be surprised by how many arguments
women have won just by Crying..

*To those ladies who always seem to be totally asleep but when you start removing their panty they raise waist a bit to help you remove it nicely, May God bless you!!!*

You know what sis?

Men are also tired of dating broke, uneducated, demanding, poor and lazy women.

So you caught your boyfriend sleeping
with another girl because you denied him
sex, and you have guts to say he’s
cheating?
My sister that’s very wicked and selfish!!
“If there’s no electricity, we use
generators”

A mentally retarded man stole a cellphone from a shop. He was caught but the owner of the shop decided to let him keep it, after all, the mentally challenged gentleman would not know how to operate the complicated handset. However, something funny happened as the the mentally retarded man pressed the phone, it did not respond. So, he continued pressing, pressing and pressing …. *Read more*

if I pay 💰R100 000 or more for my girlfriend’s Lobala…Then every time when I show up,Her family members must stand up ,polish my shoes 👞Even if they not dirty, salute and sing 🎶National anthem 🇿🇦 in full and 30 gunshot salute, red carpet +5 minutes moment of silence

Men who give their women their ATM cards
and Payslips with their whole salaries,
have a special corner in Heaven with
air conditioners and Free WiFi