“Babe, keep your money, I only need your Love”
the last lady who said this died in 1572

Teacher to his student: Give me the opposite to this sentence: “Children In the dark make mistakes”.
Student: “Mistake in the dark makes Children”
Teacher: get out.

A man happily *updated his Facebook status “Thank you Lord,I have got my salary”.* Five minutes later, he became sad.

You know why?….

*His Landlord LIKED👍 his status.*

This thing of sleeping with a phone in your hand
Look now I just bought a house online

How to TALK 👍*
Talk to *Mother* _lovingly,_
Talk 2 *Father* _respectfully,_
Talk 2 *Brothers* _heartfully,_
Talk 2 *Sisters* _affectionately,_
Talk 2 *Children* _enthusiastically,_
Talk 2 *Relatives* _empathetically,_
Talk 2 *Friends* _jovially,_
Talk 2 *Officials* _politely,_
Talk 2 *Vendors* _strictly,_
Talk 2 *Customers* _honestly,_
Talk 2 *Workers* _courteously,_
Talk 2 *Politicians* _carefully,_
Talk 2 *GOD* _silently,_
Talk to *WIFE*
~no no~ ……
*KEEP QUIET & LISTEN ONLY…!!!*

A man bought a book in library nd he returned a book nd blaming the manager that this Novel got so many names no story at all nd the manager got angry nd said “Idiot you are the one who took the attendence book”

Another weekend is passing by, Your friends are getting married
nd you are still there claiming that all Men are player’s..
Keep waiting You will marry the referee

You are busy telling someone’s child you can’t breathe without them,
are your parents aware that you are on life support?

The Only Advice I’m Getting From My Friends These Days is 👇
“Dude You Need To Find A Girlfriend”

Dating a girl with big Lips is not the problem
–
The problem
is when she gives you a kiss and it sounds like
you are taking Screen Shot

Africa is the only place you don’t need to set an alarm to wake you up ………..
Just sleep your problems will wake you up..

Introducing your female friends to your boyfriend is like
displaying different kinds of meat to a dog…
My sister it will eventually eat them all.

That moment your teacher is letting know that
he/she won’t be available tomorrow
And you be like :No why marha?
But inside your heart you are busy celebrating like nobody’s business

A Fact : A Girl Will Always Forgive And Forget
But
She Will Never Let You Forget That She Had
Forgiven And Forgotton.
Argue??

Whites: One thousand and two hundred rands.
Blacks: wan pon thu