Witchcraft is when yr manhood decide to
erect in a class for no reason and
your teacher comes in and point you
to stand up and clean the board!!!

While others are waking up to: ‘Goodmorning babe’ and ‘I love you’ texts…
Some of us wake up to: “Battery full. Remove charger”.

Have you ever looked at somebody’s really good looking and be like: “Nah, you too nice for me, you gonna give me stress..!”

Huawei Users Don’t Worry Chinese Will Create “Choogle”

If You’re In A Relationship With Someone Who’s Doing Grade 12 ..
be ready for a break up next year

Charyolo : I Want To Divorce My Wife.

Lawyer: On What Grounds ?

Charyolo: She’s Out All Night , Every Night, Going From Bar To Bar .

Lawyer : Are You Saying She’s An Alcoholic Or Do You Think She’s Cheating ?🤔

Charyolo : No , She’s Looking For Me

if you meet a woman that admits when she’s wrong and apologizes… 🙅🏻‍♀️
dump her that might be a man, women don’t do that

Husband was sipping his whisky, while sitting in the balcony with wife.
He says,
“I love you so much, I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”
Wife asks, “Is that you, or the whisky talking?”
Husband replies, “It’s me… talking to whisky.”

A Guy in a hurry used the
ladies toilet in a posh
hotel..
He sat down and
noticed four buttons –
WW, WA, PP & APR…
Curious, he pressed WW &
his butt was gently
sprayed with WARM
WATER,
he loved it so much..!!
He then pressed WA & a
blast of WARM AIR dried
him up. Still loving it …,
He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him
smell fresh.
Feeling pampered ..,
He decided to press the last button APR.
He later woke up in a
hospital
A Nurse smiled & said to
him “Sir, APR means
AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER.
When the machine couldn’t
find a pad on you, it went
for your balls .
Your balls are in the jar
over there..🤣

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed,
told her a story and listened to her prayers
which ended by saying: “God bless Mommy,
God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and
goodbye Grandpa.”
The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye
Grandpa?”
The little girl said, “I don’t know daddy, it
just seemed like the thing to do.”
The next day grandpa died. The father
thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to
bed and listened to her prayers which went
like this: “God bless Mommy, God Bless
Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day
the grandmother died.
“Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in
contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going
to bed the dad heard her say: “God bless
Mommy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically
went into shock.
He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the
crack of dawn to go to his office. He was
nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and
watched the clock. He figured if he could get
by until midnight he would be okay. He felt
safe in the office, so instead of going home
at the end of the day he stayed there,
drinking coffee, looking at his watch and
jumping at every sound.
Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh
of relief and went home. When he got home
his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so
late, what’s the matter?”
He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve
just spent the worst day of my life.”
She said, “You think you had a bad day?
You’ll never believe what happened to me.
This morning the mailman dropped dead on
our porch!”

Have you noticed when a rich guy posts something on fb. They all rush to comment, “its true boss” or “you are right boss” even if it doesn’t make sense. But for those that are not rich like me,we have to be extra funny or making a lot of sense just to get people’s reactions.
My brother, its not easy to be poor.trust me

Have ever been rejected by someone
they said had a crush on you

If you hear your pastor saying “am not going to preach for long”, just cancel all the the plans you had after church

*I’m selling chickens online, you transfer money, I will give chickens 🐓🐓directions.*🤒