The doctor said I must not carry anything heavy.
So now I sit down when I pee

Nothing is as painful as swallowing stolen meat🍗 without chewing because you thought that someone was coming.
Very very painful..!

Skebhe : Doctor I have a problem of forgetting things so easy

Doctor : when was that problem started?

Skebhe : Which problem ?

Have you ever made up a fake story and
your loyal friends say i remember that

That moment when you are happy and enjoying your day and
you hear that your friend bought a brand new car

A pastor announced, “If you know your wife is controlling you, move to the left”. All the men in the church moved to left except one man . The pastor was amused and asked,”How come ur wife can’t control you?”The man quietly replied, “it’s my wife who told me not to move”

Dear Death
English Says”Ladies First” Plz Follow That Rule Too

I still can’t believe that we’re on day 71 of 21 days of Lockdown

If time does not wait for you, don’t worry.
Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life….😁😁😁

When a slayqueen stops posting on Facebook, it means she is pregnant… And when she starts with “I am back…who missed me?” It means the ABORTION was successful.. Brothers, after God fear women.. 😜😜😜😜

Can’t stop laughing 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂

I will never lie again.

Today I was coming back from church, in the kombi
there sat a very pretty girl. All the guys in the bus were
staring at her. Some of them passed their destinations
without knowing. As for me, I was very proud of myself because I sat next to her. I did all the signs I could to make her feel my presence
but all in vain. An idea came to my mind. I took my
phone and dialed a fake number as guys always
do to attract girls’ attention.
Me: Hello Sam, I’m calling to tell you that I can’t make it today because I’ve just received a call from our CEO asking me to replace him at
a meeting bcz he is not yet back in tge country. Pls tell my brother to use my Range Rover 2017 to pick my mum from her dentist’. I will be home late. Thanks Sam. I will Sam. Once again, Thanks.
All this while, the girl
was looking at me. I said in my heart that she would fall for me if I spoke to her now ..
Me: Hi baby, y r u looking at me like that? R u surprised?
Girl: Pls pick up your phone battery. It fell when u
were taking your phone out of your pocket…..🙄
I couldn’t raise my head till I got off the kombi

Race for the Golden boot at Russia2018:
*Cristiano Ronaldo*- 4

Denis Cheryshev- 3
Diego Costa- 3
Lukaku – 2
Kane – 2

Griezmann, and many others- 1

*Lionel Messi,* Anthony Martial, Mario Balotelli, khama Billiat, Asamoah Gyan and myself – 0