When you play “God’s Plan”, music video,
Drake give people money, cars, etc.
but if you play that Music video in Reverse
Drake takes Money & Cars from People

Stolen Meat Has it’s Own Special Taste 🍖🍗 ,
it’s Always Sweeter Than The Ones Offered Freely

The Only Time Black People Gets A Breakfast in Bed is
When They Are in Hospital

South African don’t measure salt. We just
sprinkle into the food until we hear the
spirit of our ancestors whisper “Enough
my child

Teacher : Ok class; let us show the
principal and our guests how
much we have learnt so far dis
year! Let’s do comparisons ….
So if I say small, you say small,
smaller, smallest.
[Students nod]
Teacher : Big
Students : “Big, Bigger,
Biggest.” ….
Teacher : “clean.”
Students : “clean, cleaner,
cleanest.
Teacher : “tall.”
Students : “tall, taller, tallest.
Teacher [smiles] :”very good!!!
Students : “very good, very
goodder,
very goodest.
Teacher : “oh gosh.”
Students : oh gosh, oh gosher, oh
goshest!!!
Teacher : “stop it now”
Students : “stop it now, stop it
nower, stop it nowest!!!
Teacher : “oh please.”
Students :”oh please, oh pleaser,
oh
please-st..
Teacher : “Look at me..!!!
Students : “look at me, look at me-
er,
look at me-est.
Teacher : “what a disgrace!
Students : “what a disgrace, what
a
disgracer, what a disgrace-st.
Teacher [furious] : I don die…
Students : I don die, I don dier, I
don
diest!!!
Teacher faint!

Work hard until your messages cant be ignored even in family groups.
Even if you type (:! They will reply “How are you bro ” What did you say ?

If u pay a lecturer 2 million naira to pass his course and d next day d lecturer died, what will u do???😂😂😂

If I Block You On Social Media And You See Me In Public,
The Block Still Applies In Real Life

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him..
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him.
“He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall”
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee…
“What’s the matter, dear?” she whispers as she steps into the room.

The husband looks up from his coffee, “I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating.. Do you remember back then?”, he says…
The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive.
“Yes, I do”, she replies.
The husband pauses. “The words were not coming easily.”
“Do you remember when your father caught us in my car?”
“Yes, I remember, says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.”
The husband continues.
“Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said,
“Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?””
“I remember that also”, she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says…

“I would have been released today if only I made the right decision!”

Ex:why you don’t answer your phone??
Me:cos I lost my memory card

Are you happy in your relationship or I should give you my number ?

*Couldn’t stop laughing*
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbor & decided to go to a quiet place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping over the gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in the bag. Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetery gate & heard a voice saying: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You”….. He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a Church nearby, for the priest… “Father, please come with me. Come & witness God & Satan sharing corpses at the cemetery”
They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: “One For Me, One For You, One For Me, One For You’………… Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said: “What About The Two At The Gate?” You should’ve seen the marathon…

Confuse yr enemies
Makhi : what are studying at varsity?
Me: I’m studying mechanical engineering
bachelor of Education in LLB and Pharmacy
with bachelor of arts under occupational
therapy and dentistry in bachelors of
science at UWC and TUT
Makhi: So u’ll finish when?
Me: Due to unfortunate and unforeseeable
circumstantial events it seems like it’ll be
affected by the results of economical ,
technological and political changes in the
world of the education as whole but……
Makhi: whoo whoo stop!!!