My grandmother is going around telling people that I fix phones
just because I removed her phone from silent

She tag us and be like
I’m sleeping with Mbula and 32 others….
Like really..???
The truth will set you free….

Six great confusions still unresolved 😄😂

1. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

2. In the word scent, is “S” silent or “C”?

3. If humans evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?

4. Why is there a ‘D’ in fridge,
but not in refrigerator?

5. Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?

6. If pro and con are opposites, wouldn’t the opposite of progress be…congress?

Vagaries of English Language! Enjoy!!!

Their are only two naked thing that can kill a man
1). *Naked wire*
2). *Naked woman*
😂😂😂😂

*Hope I am not lying*

If you are offered R10 000 to kill a
mosquito on your dad’s head with
slippers…..will you go for it?

i Paid My Rent 😥 , So Don’t Ask Me To Go Out ✋
Because I’m in The Crib Getting My Money’s Worth

I Personally Don’t Understand Why Drunk People Love To Talk Closer To Your Face

Parents a confusing sometimes
They will beat so that you cry and then beat you so you keep quiet

At the creche where I work, there is a little girl named Vicky. She is so cute and sweet.👼
Yesterday, just before knocking off, I found her busy, trying to put on her shoes.👢
I approached her, and offered to help her. It was such a torrid time. The boots seamed to be smaller than her size. It took me 5 minutes to help her wear them. When we were done, after making a steps away from her, she called me said “Teacher, you made me wear banana”. 🍌 When I looked at her shoes, to my embarrassment, I realised I had misplaced her shoes – the banana style.😱
Upon trying to take off the shoes again, it took me 3 minutes. After struggling so much I eventually managed to remove them and tried putting them on again, this time the correct way. However, it was more difficult than the first time.
When I finished, she said: “Teacher, these shoes are not mine!”
I really got angry, but since I work with little kids, I had to be patient and control my anger. I struggled to remove the shoes. I then asked Vicky where her own shoes were and this is what she said:
“These shoes belong to my sister, my mum is the one who made me wear them in the morning today”.
This time I boiled in anger. But since I always do my job perfectly and whole heartedly, I helped her to put on the shoes again. When we were done, Vicky pulled another shocker, yet again. “What about the socks, teacher?” she asked.
I wondered whether I should laugh or cry.😡
Politely and swiftly I asked her, “Where are the socks Vicky?”
She innocently replied: “I shoved them in my shoes, they are in front of my toes”
I simply resigned!

Every time she goes out at night to drink🍻 with her friends💃👭, she comes back early around 3am🌃 in the morning, she knocks🚪 in the window because she lost her key and when I open the curtains⏳ to see who it is ,It’s her, she makes funny ugly😉 faces, when I open the door she walks🚶‍♀️ In like a model 💃(Cat walking) convincing me she’s not drunk🥂 but she keeps falling😑, she sends me to go out and look for her other shoe👠 “stuck in a mud ” she says. I come back she locked me out👏, she continue to make funny😬 faces through the window. She forgets we hid the spare key outside under the rock😛, 🙈👅I open the door she runs🏃‍♀️💃 and hide herself from me, she puts a bucket on her head and cover her eyes with her hands, I Ignore her and go sleep🛌. She so drunk she starts singing random songs,🌴 starts jumping on the bed🛏 like a kid, pulls me by ears 👂 and rides my back like a horse ,while I’m trying to sleep ,runs to the toilet to vomit🚽 ,I have to wakeup And Check on her ,Hold Her Hair As She Vomits😛 , make sure she’s okay😑 , She Goes To The Kitchen ,breaks Glasses🍷 I get There Shes Eating eating everything in the fridge🍎🍓🍉🍨🍢🍲🍞🍜🍤🍛🍗 shes wearing the clothes 👕👔👖She Ironed For me for work ,Takes Out her phone takes selfies🤳 I have to pick up the glasses and sweep the floor ,prepare my clothes👖👕👔 for work and hers👗 too if shes going ,when I’m done ,Im noticing shes been quiet for a while now ,I go and check her out ,I get there shes sleeping🛌 I have to pick her up and put her in bed ,I go out to switch off lights 💡 I come back She has wetened💦 the bed, now I have put her on the Couch put a blanket wrap her feet and tuck it to her and i’ll take the floor I close my eyes to sleep I hear the boom sound ,its her she fell😑 off the couch , Now We both sleeping on the floor ,she’s farting so bad I cant sleep ,I yawn as I close my eyes 📢”Trrrr trrr⏰” the alarm goes off its 6:30am I better get ready for work 😔 And You know What I Don’t Mind Cause I Love My Babe, She is my only Queen

Dear slender girls!
Stop putting your bra’s on the washing line to dry………
Why???????👇
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.because….
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Look like sun glasses