A man calls a radio show during
dedication time.
Man:am calling to report abt a lost
n found item.
Presenter:Go on.
Man:I picked a wallet tht contains
a gold watch,50 k notes n an ID
wth a name Richard Onyango
Presenter:So, yu want me to help
you find the owner?
Man:No!I want to dedicate him
the song U SAVED ME by R. Kelly.

The way l am so good at sleeping😴
I can even do it with my eyes closed

Girls want Attention.
Women want Respect.
Men want both.
No no.. not Attention and Respect.
Both Girls and Women

SOME GIRLS BE LIKE “I want a man who can
protect me” But They have already rejected 12
security guards .My sister what do you really
want, electric fence?

Im already ashamed of the things I’ll be doing in December

Who Else Says “Let Me Tell The Truth”
And Lie Even Worse

Men don’t print Airtime.
If he doesn’t call you, call him. Trust me you won’t die!

HE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
•Between 18 and 20, a woman is like Africa.
-Half discovered, half-wild, naturally beautiful
with fertile deltas.

•Between 21 and 30, a woman is like America.
-Well developed and open to trade, especially for
someone with cash.

•Between 31 and 35, she is
like India.
-Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own
beauty.

•Between 36 and 40, a woman is like France.
-Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place
to visit.

•Between 41 and 50, she is like Yugoslavia.
-Lost the war, haunted by past mistakes. Massive
reconstruction is now necessary.

•Between 51 and 60, she is like Russia.
-Very wide and borders are un-patrolled. The
frigid climate keeps people away.

•Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Mongolia.
-A glorious and all conquering past but alas, no
future.

•After 70, women become like Zimbabwe.
-Everyone knows where it is but no one wants to
go there.

On my wedding day any woman that will look more pretty than my wife
will be chased out, i hate confusion

A couple was found dead yesterday in Rustenburg,😭 it is said the cause of death is sugar diabetic, this sickness is cause because of calling each other my sweetheart💁‍♂️, my chocolate🙄, my honey😕 , my sweetcake🤨, my lovecandy😐 and my lollipop😏, so 2save our lives😊 n partners lets start calling each other by healthy foods😎 , lyk my spinach, my carrot, my cabbage, my veggies vegg, my mopani wormy😍, etc.. Plz send this 2 all ur frnds as a warning😪

Do you know the pain of getting caught
while you try to fit visitors shoes

I just smoked weed now but nothing happens I just wasted money 😭😭 anyway happy mothers day 🏃🏃 I love you dad

I went 2 see a friend from a very rich family. D maid approached Mε̲̣̣̣̥ & asked.
MAID: What would u lyk to have, fruit juice, yoghurt, tea, chocolate, cappuccino , frapuccino or coffee?
ME: Tea pls.
MAID: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, kericho gold tea,bush tea or green tea?
ME: Ceylon tea pls.
MAID: how do u want it, black or white?
ME: White. …
MAID: Milk or fresh cream?
ME: With milk.
MAID: Goat milk or cow milk?
ME: Cow’s milk.
MAID: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
ME: Uhm, lemme go with d freezeland cow.
MAID: Would u lyk it with sweetner, sugar or honey?
ME: Sugar.
MAID: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
ME: Cane sugar
MAID: White, brown or yellow sugar?
ME: Abeg, forget abt d tea, jst give me a glass of water…
MAID: Mineral, tap or still water?
ME: Mineral water.
MAID: flavored or non flavored?
ME: Entlek get me an empty glass

When you close the door to kill a snake and
the electricity goes off my brother thats
when you wll know that nobody can stop reggae. ..
you will keep jumping like a rasta man.

Stomach Running is Just Like WI-FI,
The More You Get Closer To The Toilet,
The More The Signal Become Stronger